Feeling Lost

Sending a child off to college can be both exciting and frightening, especially when you’re a single parent, with only one child. This was me in August of 2018.

For eighteen and a half years my entire world revolved around the needs of my Son. Anything related to me took a back seat. So the reality that this world I had become so accustomed to would change overnight was very daunting.

Empty Nest

Facing an extremely quiet and empty house was something I was not completely prepared for. I tried to mentally and emotionally prepare, but not until college move-in day came and I had to make the drive home by myself, did I actually know how I would feel.

Needless to say my emotions seesawed the first couple weeks. I would go from being excited to be free to do my own thing, to weeping in the doorway of my Son’s empty bedroom in a matter of minutes. 

As his freshman year progressed, I experienced a cavalcade of emotions. I went from feeling lost in my empty nest, to settling into my new norm, to feeling optimistic, even looking forward to “Me Time” and then back to feeling lost again.

At times even feeling guilty about looking forward to “Me Time.” 

“Me Time” is a rare commodity for all parents. Something all parents crave, but seldom experience, even more so when you’re a single parent. So the concept of having an almost unlimited supply seemed very foreign.

Me time

For my own mental health, I needed to learn how to allow myself this time.

I knew though this feat would not be simple.

After all this time I was hardwired to be a Mom first and foremost. I would need to rediscover the woman who was behind the Mom. The woman who got lost when becoming a Mom took front and center. I know she’s still in there. I just need to find a way to unearth her again.

It is this journey of self-rediscovery that I will share on this site. I hope that you enjoy the stories of my adventure, and maybe even garner a few insights to aid you on your own quest should you face a similar dilemma.