IT IS ALWAYS SOMETHING, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE?

“It’s Always Something” –
a sigh of hopelessness, resignation, regret, dismay, disillusionment, disappointment


Despite how true this statement is, I have always hated it because of its negativity and simple manner of just passing off whatever is going on or has happened. This is often what someone says to you when they have no idea what to say because unfortunately whatever you are or have experienced is generally just a part of life.

Granted, life is not perfect, and stuff happens. Stuff that although may be a part of life, and simply out of our control, is none-the-less upsetting and can throw your life into a tailspin for awhile.

And the way I see it, if it upsets you it warrants a response other than apathy. The response “It’s Always Something” I feel is meant to be consoling of some sorts, but in reality shows no sense of empathy, it’s dismissing the situation because basically we’ve all gone through it at some point in our lives, so why make a big deal of it, which is sad.

When did we all get so jaded and apathetic about the dilemmas we all face on any given day of the week?

Of course, I’m not referring to major health issues, the loss of a loved one, and a catastrophic or tragic event, those are not “every day” type of challenges, and generally not something we have all experienced.

I mean things like an unexpected house or car repair, damage to a car due to an accident which creates extra BS until every detail is resolved, issues with a credit card due to a lost check, appliances breaking down forcing you to buy a new one, etc..

The list is endless, because the messiness of life is endless, and the bigger the world gets, and the more complicated our daily lives get, the more complicated the “It’s Always Something” stuff can get.

What’s even more upsetting then complete apathy regarding this type of thing, is apathy related to serious events, which is starting to happen.

For example, while watching a news report about a car jacking with a 2-year-old autistic child still in the car, a witness interviewed responded “It is what it is. It’s the times we’re living in.”

“It is what it is” –
Deal with it. An expression used to characterize a frustrating or challenging situation that a person believes cannot be changed and must just be accepted.

When I heard this response I almost cried. The mother whose child was in the car most certainly was not feeling that way. She wanted empathy for the plight she was enduring while the search for her child was going on.

I do understand that some days the weight of the world we live in, especially since the pandemic, can feel overwhelming and make you feel like shutting everyone and every thing out. BUT, the only way things can get better is by having empathy for each other, no matter what the situation.

In my little corner of the world, from July to early September I was dealing with extended car repairs post a car accident, and some days it felt like an endless saga.

BUT, it was nothing compared to what some of my co-workers have been enduring, and I reminded myself of this every day I got frustrated or stressed about things. The empathy for them kept me in check with my own issues.

AND, made me realize despite the issues I was dealing with, I am blessed. My situation would be solved, and settled, and not be life changing, it would just cause temporary disruption in my daily schedule.

Granted, not everyone thinks this way. And most certainly some days those “It’s Always Something” things can be all consuming, to the point that it’s hard to think about anything or anyone beyond your personal issue. BUT, if we pause, take a deep breath, and remind ourselves there are others going through far greater issues, maybe, just maybe, we can circle back to a less apathetic “it’s always something” state of mind.

Changing your state-of-mind in relation to anything that is not a positive is certainly not an easy thing, but it’s noted that by changing our words, we can change our thoughts and in turn change the vibration we send out in the world.

This is exactly why I started my year out trying hard to stay in the “Hippie State of Mind” – peace, love, harmony and hope. Not that I was putting blinders on to the world around me, or ignoring issues within my own life.

It was about changing how I approached these things, and trying to find the good things in every day and emphasizing those instead of the negative.

I was doing pretty good until we got into preparing for my Son’s college graduation, graduation, moving him home, preparing the house for his celebration, decorating for the celebration, the celebration, clean up post the celebration AND dealing with the aftermath of a car accident which my Son was in the week after the celebration.

Thank God he wasn’t hurt, it was just the car, which is the key positive in the entire incident.

In addition, things were ramping up at work, which meant periods of overtime, which is great for my pocket book, but limiting when it comes to time at home.

To say I fell off my “Hippie State of Mind” therapy is an understatement.

BUT, I was aware I was letting things get to me, and knew I was the only who could change that. Plus, there were friends going through some very heavy and serious things, which as I noted earlier having empathy for their plights help to keep me in check with my stuff.

Now I do understand the state of the world, particularly since the pandemic, has dragged a lot of people into a more pessimistic state, which in itself is very sad. BUT, it has also created a world filled with more rude, inconsiderate and apathetic people, which I’ve found to be extremely visible while driving and shopping. At times it feels like everyone is out for themselves and no one else, so get out of their way.

This negative energy makes it extremely hard to stay positive, and most certainly can trigger an “It’s always something” or “it is what is” lack of empathy type of attitude, which just adds to the negative vibration.

AND, I must note, being negative is much easier than being positive. Positivity is a choice, a very conscious choice that has to be worked at.

BUT, after allowing myself to fall off the “Hippie State of Mind” train, just because I got very, very busy, I have made a pact with myself to work hard to get back on that train.

AND, in order to do this, I will work on CHANGING THE WORDS I USE, especially when confronted with those every day “It’s Always Something” or “It Is What It Is” type of things.

Now I know this won’t be an easy thing because those phrases are engrained in my brain, so until I can formulate my own positive twist on these phrases, I’ve decided to borrow someone else’s positive words.

Below are a few I found I thought I’d give a try:

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”Dolly Parton

“Every day may not be good… but there’s something good in every day.” Alice Morse Earle

It is what it is, it is what you make it.” – James Durbin

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.” – Helen Keller

 “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” – Helen Keller

“Remember, rainbows have never been attracted to cloudless days. They only follow the storms.”―
Richelle E. Goodrich

“Happiness is not the absence of problems; it’s the ability to deal with them.” ― Steve Maraboli

“Expect obstacles and face them head-on. They are going to come up, so the way you handle them is what makes all the difference.” – Lance Dale, A Shot of Positivity: Overcoming Obstacles

AND

“Smiling is a wonderful way to get a boost of happiness. The next time life presents you with a challenging situation, take a deep breath and smile.” – Morris Pratt, The Secret of Positive Thinking

SO, it you feel like me, maybe you can join me in my adventure to change my words to change my world, and help shift the worldly vibration to one of positivity, which is so needed now more than ever.

© Mariann E. Danko and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

Goddess Masthead © Pamela Danko-Stout and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

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#mommemoir
#itsalwayssomething
#itiswhatitis
#changeyourwordschangeyourworld
#norainnorainbow

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COMPASSION IN ACTION

COMPASSION – sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it

Like most, watching the devastation in Ukraine unfold on the nightly news has my heart breaking for the poor Ukrainians who are being forced to flee their homeland for safety. Seeing the fear and desperation on their faces has brought me to tears multiple times. I have experienced losses in my life, but nothing that could ever compare to what the people of Ukraine are being forced to face.

This has made me realize more than anything, how truly blessed and fortunate I am. No matter what challenges or hardships I may face, I know I will never experience the level of anguish the Ukrainians are experiencing. 

To say this has made me feel extreme levels of compassion is an understatement. 

I am a strong advocate of prayer, and have been praying every day for peace in Ukraine, and safety for all Ukrainians, but as each day passes, with more devastation, my desire to do more has been growing and nagging at my soul.

BUT HOW?

I live on a tight budget, so making a large donation wasn’t feasible. I do realize though, that the needs are so great, any donation is worthy, but it felt like what I could donate was just a bandaid.

More and more organizations have been popping up that are collecting items to ship, which I will do, once I find one locally, but that still didn’t seem like enough. It was then that I realized maybe there was a way I could help by using my creative abilities. 

SO, I set out to create a piece of chalk art that would represent Ukraine and the need for peace, with the intent that I could some how do a fundraiser selling tee-shirts with the art on it.

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” – St. Theresa of Calcutta

Upon investigating ways to set up a tee-shirt fundraiser, I found the best and most effective route would be to set up the new design in my online shop through Spring, formerly TeeSpring, the print-on-demand company I use. 100% of my profits are donated to the charity of my choice selected from the listing of charities the company has an established relationship with.

SO, that is exactly what I did.

My PEACE FOR UKRAINE – TEES FOR PEACE campaign went live on Friday, March 11th. Spring handles all the rest: taking the orders, processing payment, printing, shipping and sending my profits to the International Rescue Committee (IRC), the charity I chose, whenever I request the payout to be made.

It couldn’t get any easier and I’m thrilled.

NOTE this is just a screenshot of site. Live link is at bottom of post.

I have posted info on Facebook and Instagram, and followed up with a paid boost of the post to flood Facebook and Instagram. The response has been extremely positive, and to date I have raised $447 dollars, $197 over the $250 goal I had.

To say I’m thrilled is an understatement.

The fundraiser is open-ended, so when I hit $500, I will request a payout to be sent to the IRC. Then I’ll start a new tally, donating in smaller increments depending on how sales are going.

As long as the war goes on, so will my fundraiser. I will continue to find ways to spread the word in hopes the sales will continue.

“Make the best use of what is in your power, & take the rest as it happens.’ – Epictetus

If you are interested in purchasing a TEE FOR PEACE below is the link:

https://www.thechalkcharmer.shopping/listing/peace-for-ukraine-tees-for-p?product=2

Information on the International Rescue Committee and their mission in Ukraine and Poland can be found here:

https://www.rescue.org/

 “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” – Helen Keller

© Mariann E. Danko and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

Goddess Masthead © Pamela Danko-Stout and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

All art courtesy of the CHALK Charmer – 2022

#wakingthewoman
#mommemoir
#peaceforukraine
#standwithukraine
#endwar
#ukraine
#teesforpeace
#compassioninaction