IT IS ALWAYS SOMETHING, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE?

“It’s Always Something” –
a sigh of hopelessness, resignation, regret, dismay, disillusionment, disappointment


Despite how true this statement is, I have always hated it because of its negativity and simple manner of just passing off whatever is going on or has happened. This is often what someone says to you when they have no idea what to say because unfortunately whatever you are or have experienced is generally just a part of life.

Granted, life is not perfect, and stuff happens. Stuff that although may be a part of life, and simply out of our control, is none-the-less upsetting and can throw your life into a tailspin for awhile.

And the way I see it, if it upsets you it warrants a response other than apathy. The response “It’s Always Something” I feel is meant to be consoling of some sorts, but in reality shows no sense of empathy, it’s dismissing the situation because basically we’ve all gone through it at some point in our lives, so why make a big deal of it, which is sad.

When did we all get so jaded and apathetic about the dilemmas we all face on any given day of the week?

Of course, I’m not referring to major health issues, the loss of a loved one, and a catastrophic or tragic event, those are not “every day” type of challenges, and generally not something we have all experienced.

I mean things like an unexpected house or car repair, damage to a car due to an accident which creates extra BS until every detail is resolved, issues with a credit card due to a lost check, appliances breaking down forcing you to buy a new one, etc..

The list is endless, because the messiness of life is endless, and the bigger the world gets, and the more complicated our daily lives get, the more complicated the “It’s Always Something” stuff can get.

What’s even more upsetting then complete apathy regarding this type of thing, is apathy related to serious events, which is starting to happen.

For example, while watching a news report about a car jacking with a 2-year-old autistic child still in the car, a witness interviewed responded “It is what it is. It’s the times we’re living in.”

“It is what it is” –
Deal with it. An expression used to characterize a frustrating or challenging situation that a person believes cannot be changed and must just be accepted.

When I heard this response I almost cried. The mother whose child was in the car most certainly was not feeling that way. She wanted empathy for the plight she was enduring while the search for her child was going on.

I do understand that some days the weight of the world we live in, especially since the pandemic, can feel overwhelming and make you feel like shutting everyone and every thing out. BUT, the only way things can get better is by having empathy for each other, no matter what the situation.

In my little corner of the world, from July to early September I was dealing with extended car repairs post a car accident, and some days it felt like an endless saga.

BUT, it was nothing compared to what some of my co-workers have been enduring, and I reminded myself of this every day I got frustrated or stressed about things. The empathy for them kept me in check with my own issues.

AND, made me realize despite the issues I was dealing with, I am blessed. My situation would be solved, and settled, and not be life changing, it would just cause temporary disruption in my daily schedule.

Granted, not everyone thinks this way. And most certainly some days those “It’s Always Something” things can be all consuming, to the point that it’s hard to think about anything or anyone beyond your personal issue. BUT, if we pause, take a deep breath, and remind ourselves there are others going through far greater issues, maybe, just maybe, we can circle back to a less apathetic “it’s always something” state of mind.

Changing your state-of-mind in relation to anything that is not a positive is certainly not an easy thing, but it’s noted that by changing our words, we can change our thoughts and in turn change the vibration we send out in the world.

This is exactly why I started my year out trying hard to stay in the “Hippie State of Mind” – peace, love, harmony and hope. Not that I was putting blinders on to the world around me, or ignoring issues within my own life.

It was about changing how I approached these things, and trying to find the good things in every day and emphasizing those instead of the negative.

I was doing pretty good until we got into preparing for my Son’s college graduation, graduation, moving him home, preparing the house for his celebration, decorating for the celebration, the celebration, clean up post the celebration AND dealing with the aftermath of a car accident which my Son was in the week after the celebration.

Thank God he wasn’t hurt, it was just the car, which is the key positive in the entire incident.

In addition, things were ramping up at work, which meant periods of overtime, which is great for my pocket book, but limiting when it comes to time at home.

To say I fell off my “Hippie State of Mind” therapy is an understatement.

BUT, I was aware I was letting things get to me, and knew I was the only who could change that. Plus, there were friends going through some very heavy and serious things, which as I noted earlier having empathy for their plights help to keep me in check with my stuff.

Now I do understand the state of the world, particularly since the pandemic, has dragged a lot of people into a more pessimistic state, which in itself is very sad. BUT, it has also created a world filled with more rude, inconsiderate and apathetic people, which I’ve found to be extremely visible while driving and shopping. At times it feels like everyone is out for themselves and no one else, so get out of their way.

This negative energy makes it extremely hard to stay positive, and most certainly can trigger an “It’s always something” or “it is what is” lack of empathy type of attitude, which just adds to the negative vibration.

AND, I must note, being negative is much easier than being positive. Positivity is a choice, a very conscious choice that has to be worked at.

BUT, after allowing myself to fall off the “Hippie State of Mind” train, just because I got very, very busy, I have made a pact with myself to work hard to get back on that train.

AND, in order to do this, I will work on CHANGING THE WORDS I USE, especially when confronted with those every day “It’s Always Something” or “It Is What It Is” type of things.

Now I know this won’t be an easy thing because those phrases are engrained in my brain, so until I can formulate my own positive twist on these phrases, I’ve decided to borrow someone else’s positive words.

Below are a few I found I thought I’d give a try:

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”Dolly Parton

“Every day may not be good… but there’s something good in every day.” Alice Morse Earle

It is what it is, it is what you make it.” – James Durbin

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.” – Helen Keller

 “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” – Helen Keller

“Remember, rainbows have never been attracted to cloudless days. They only follow the storms.”―
Richelle E. Goodrich

“Happiness is not the absence of problems; it’s the ability to deal with them.” ― Steve Maraboli

“Expect obstacles and face them head-on. They are going to come up, so the way you handle them is what makes all the difference.” – Lance Dale, A Shot of Positivity: Overcoming Obstacles

AND

“Smiling is a wonderful way to get a boost of happiness. The next time life presents you with a challenging situation, take a deep breath and smile.” – Morris Pratt, The Secret of Positive Thinking

SO, it you feel like me, maybe you can join me in my adventure to change my words to change my world, and help shift the worldly vibration to one of positivity, which is so needed now more than ever.

© Mariann E. Danko and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

Goddess Masthead © Pamela Danko-Stout and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

#wakingthewoman
#mommemoir
#itsalwayssomething
#itiswhatitis
#changeyourwordschangeyourworld
#norainnorainbow

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SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE!

And that something is this month’s blog post.

If you read last month’s post “The Business That Has Become My Life” you’re aware that I have acknowledged I need to start lightening up on myself and my TO DO LIST.

https://wakingthewoman.com/…/the-business-that-has…/

AND, although I have a post started for this month, it’s far from complete because between OT at work, dealing with ongoing car issues with my Son’s card, the standard day-to-day, and my chalk art, time got the best of me and I had to surrender, acknowledging that I just can’t pull this one off this month.

In addition, although I thoroughly enjoy writing, since discovering my chalk art, my creative energy has been predominately focused on that avenue, which makes my writing seem more like a chore than a creative outlet, especially when the well is running dry with topics that relate to the theme of the blog.

So, I will not be renewing my domain name and premium WordPress plan when it comes up for renewal the end of January. 2023

This of course does not mean I won’t start another blog down the road one day, it just means with my Son now a college graduate, the concept of rediscovering myself while my Son is away at college is past it’s expiration date and time to let the blog site slowly fade into the sunset.

I truly appreciate everyone who has supported me and my writing since I started blogging in 2014, but I am most certainly at another transition point creatively and in order for me to truly pursue my new passion, chalk art, I have to accept the fact that until I have more free time, I can’t do both, or should I say do both with a proper level of enthusiasm.

With 5 months left on my plan, I will do my best to post every one of those months, but I can’t guarantee that. I can however promise I will have a post in September because I already have the post in the works.

Thanks again for all your support, and I’ll keep you posted on any future writing plans come January with my final Waking the Woman post.

#wakingthewoman#mommemoir#timeflies#transition#acceptance#aging#aginggracefully#somethingsgottagive

The Business That Has Become My Life

The Business That Has Become My Life

So, I made it through my son’s college graduation, moving him home, figuring out where to fit all the stuff that got moved home, purging/cleaning/organizing the basement so we could have a graduation celebration at home, planning/coordinating all that goes into a party, setting up/decorating for the party, the actual party and all that goes into the day of a party, and of course the clean up after the party.

The clean up alone took an entire day because we set up throughout the house to accommodate moving people inside if the threat of severe storms came to fruition. It didn’t, but it was very hot, so I was grateful the option to move inside was available and because of the extra effort to decorate the entire house, the ambiance was festive everywhere in the house.

I was so busy with all of this though, I didn’t even have time to write a post last month. That’s the first time ever in the 8 years I’ve been blogging I didn’t even post just a mini-post stating what was up. I just didn’t have the energy to do so, mentally and physically I was spent.

Added to all of this, the week after the party, my Son was in a car accident en route to taking his girlfriend back home. They were both fine, thank God, but this happened out of state, which added to the complexity of the situation, especially when the car started to overheat when my Son started to drive home.

I won’t get into the details, except to say my Son was stuck out of state for a week until I could coordinate ways to get him and the car back home. Now we’re at the mercy of the supply chain waiting on parts to fix the car.

To say I was moving at full-throttle for month’s between home and work is an understatement, but I kept reminding myself once I got to the other side of the party I’d have some downtime. For me however, downtime just means no extra stuff beyond the normal day-to-day, and week-to-week stuff.

As I’ve noted, I tend to thrive on being busy, and love the feeling crossing stuff off my to do list gives me. BUT, the older I get, and the more I fantasize about retirement, the more I realize that there has to be more to my days than tasks, especially with my day job is gearing back up to pre-COVID shutdown pace, with regular over-time.

The busier I am at work, the more I see the need for me to lighten up at home, but that in itself is a challenge when my brain is hardwired to “be busy.” I know I’ve written about this in the past, and the fact that I’m once again circling back to the subject, just means I haven’t been very successful at “lightening up” on the TO DO List. 

“Stop the glorification of busy. Busy, in and of itself, is not a badge of honor. It is OKAY to not be busy. Repeat this with me: It is OKAY to not be busy.” – Joshua Becker

When I saw this quote on Facebook, it hit me like a lightening rod. I knew the Universe was trying to make a point. A point I was very aware of, but obviously needed to be reminded of.

BUT, trying to reprogram my brain in my early 60’s is not going to be a simple task.

Normally I at least have our Summer Vacation to shutdown, and recharge, but this year we don’t have a real vacation or even a mini-vacation planned. Partly because I was so busy with other stuff I had no time to think about it. But, also because my Son’s post graduation plans where up in the air. I didn’t want to plan something only to find out he couldn’t go because he was starting a new job or even moving.

Vacation truly slows me down for a while beyond the actual excursion because I tend to try to bask in the “vacation chill mode” as long as I possibly can after I’m home. As I like to say “I’m trying to hang on to my vacation shine.”

I can honestly say I’m usually pretty successful with this, for at least a couple weeks, but with no real break on the horizon, I’m not quite sure how I’m going to achieve even just a minimal “vacation chill mode” if I don’t leave home for even just a long weekend.

Being away from home, even if just for a short time, allows me to disconnect from the day-to-day tasks at hand because of course I’m not at home with the stuff that needs to be done staring me down. Granted it will still be there when I get home, but the break, no matter how short, can usually be enough for me to lighten up on when and how soon a task gets done.

With that said, although my Son’s post-college plans are still somewhat up in the air, I do know he’ll be home for a little while longer and have decided I need to find a way to take a mini-escape, if not in August, then September. I’ve been contemplating this idea for a week or two, but confirmed it has to happen when I read today’s Touched by an Angel Calendar Quote “People don’t always have to be busy. Sometimes they should just sit back and enjoy the peace.”

To say the Universe is trying to tell me something is an understatement. 

Of course this means I have something to add to my To Do List, figuring out the when and where to escape to, but it’s something fun to look forward to, and is a means to an end. Just knowing I’ve made the decision to do this helps with me learning how to lighten up on the business that has become my life.

When I was younger, I was not as hardwired with the  “be busy” mentality, I most certainly took more time to play. It’s something that developed the older I got, especially when I became a single parent, doing double duty was the norm.

Now however my Son is grown, and while he’s home can be more helpful around the house. It’s just a matter of figuring out where he can be of the most help and learning to relinquish the reigns, which is easier said than done, when it’s been all me all this time. Basically I’m on autopilot most of the time, and have to learn to stop myself and allow someone else to step in.

We have had discussions about my Son helping more, and he is all in. He knows one day he’ll be on his own, and learning to be self-sufficient is a must.

Since I’ve been doing more OT, I told him helping with dinner is the key spot where I can use assistance. He helps with clean up, but I mean learning how to actually cook, not just throw frozen food in the oven. After all, his Father was a Chef; he’s got to have some cooking skills in his gene pool, right?

I know I have a long way to go when it comes to learning to “lighten up” on my To DO List, but acknowledging I need to and the Universe reinforcing it, opens the door for it to actually come to fruition.

And, acknowledging I could use a little help even with just the day-to-day is a step in the right direction. Granted it’s a baby step, but that’s the only way to start with a change this big.

© Mariann E. Danko and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

Goddess Masthead © Pamela Danko-Stout and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

#wakingthewoman
#mommemoir
#business
#todolist
#lighteningup
#learningtochill

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

May has been a month filled with a flurry of activity all revolving around the culmination of my Son’s four years at college.

First there was all the ever-changing pre-graduation planning and last minute decisions on my part to create decorations for a mini-family celebration at my Son and his girlfriend’s apartment post the ceremony and lunch.

Then, on May 15th was the actual commencement, which in itself was a day, filled with adventure and ever shifting plans. Not only did the ceremony start at least 30 minutes late, it also ran more than an hour longer than anticipated followed by a massive bottleneck getting out of the parking garage by the arena. 

This of course meant all of our post-graduation plans needed to be rearranged because we were all too hungry to take pictures on campus before lunch, as was the original plan. As my Son said, “ We were all HANGRY.”

So, by the time we all had lunch and got back to campus it was after 5 PM. And, till we got the pictures on campus done it was at least 6:30, so our little celebration at the apartment got cut back to a quick cup of coffee and piece of cake for the road because we all had to drive back home, some with a 3 hour drive.

Good thing we took pictures of my Son and his girlfriend in the apartment by the decorations before the ceremony because by the time we got back to the apartment later in the day, they just wanted get into comfy clothes and veg out.

Despite it all, it was a great day, and we all just rolled with things as they unraveled, which is a good sign for the future.

Bottom line, it brought me great joy to see my Son earn his bachelor’s degree in Game Development and Simulation, a field he’s extremely enthusiastic about, and excited to explore all it’s possibility. Which is another plus, because if he wasn’t excited, all those years in college would be for not.

From there we all had a week to re-group before the big move home.

And when I say big move I’m not under-estimating. We filled 3 vehicles to the brim, and spent at least six hours sorting, packing, loading, cleaning and unloading before it was all said and done. And that doesn’t include the two hours of driving to and from campus.

Thank God my sister and her husband helped, otherwise my Son and I would have been at it well into the wee hours of the night.

NOW though, it’s back to sorting through it all and figuring out what gets stored for when my Son eventually moves out on his own, and what stuff is mine, which I loaned to him to use in his apartment for the school year.

Trust me, this is a major project because it’s not just sorting and repacking, it’s also figuring out where the heck to store it in my house. Good thing I’ve been giving it some thought, and have had a plan percolating for a couple weeks. Plus have the long Memorial Day Weekend to do it in.

Stuff brought home

Once this task is done, we’ll both be able to truly recharge our batteries and take some time to linger in the joy of my Son’s accomplishment. Taking this time to recharge is critical to clear all the stress and anxiety about the future which has built up over the past month or so, which in turn clears the way to truly re-evaluate where things stand as far as my Son’s future.

Organized, repacked and in storage

My Son’s commencement on May 15th set the stage for the start of a new phase of his life, that of being a “grown up” post college graduation. AND, how we both approach this new phase will be critical in determining his success, which is why time to recharge and re-evaluate is a must for both of us.

I need to accept the fact that my Son will need some guidance, but it’s not my place to tell him what to do. As a young adult, he needs to chart his own path unencumbered by how I think he should do things. I can make a suggestion, but ultimately I have to allow him his space so he can learn to be confident in his own decision-making.

For most of his college years I have been working on stepping back and generally only making suggestions if he asked. Sometimes stepping in when an older adult figure was needed, but even then it was generally because he requested it.

As far as my Son’s future plans, we have had some discussions, and to be honest I’ve been pleasantly surprised by what he’s thinking. He has a basic outline set for his future, with a lot of wiggle room of course to allow for any uncertainties that could arise, which is very wise for him to consider.

In addition, since he’s home he is following through with the basic plans he set for himself, which is wonderful. I can continue to work on my stepping back, only needing to inquire how things are going, and encouraging him as he plugs away at charting his future in the “adult world.”

I knew he wanted to just chill for a bit when he got home, so to see him stepping right into working on revamping his resume and checking into not only employment in his field, but temporary employment that pays more than the P/T job he during school is very encouraging.

And speaks volumes as to how successful his future endeavors will be.

He’s even jumped right in to finally dismantling and bagging up the massive Lego world he created in middle school. This world, made up of many sets and original creations covered two 6’ tables with extensions under the tables and two smaller tables. To say it took over a large section of the basement is no lie.

What’s left to pack up. Multiply this by at least 3 and that’s the full world.

Now, packing up the Lego world was a pre-requisite in order for us to have a graduation celebration at home, which is what he wanted instead of at a park or restaurant. SO, I get that his actions are motivated by that, but I see them even more so as a symbol of him ready to truly “grow up” and step boldly into the world of being an adult.

Since he built that world, with every milestone along the way, heading to high school, high school graduation, and starting college, I have asked him about dismantling and bagging sets. Before he started college, he did take down a small section of it, but ultimately left the bulk of it out, which has just been collecting dust all through college.

This world was his refuge during tough times in middle school and high school, so I get that he wanted to hang on to it, but now that he has conquered the toughest part of his climb to adulthood, graduating from college, I do believe he is finally in the right mindset to once and for all let go of that world, which is huge.

One of the many phases of my Son’s Lego world

In doing so, as his Mother, I can find a sense of comfort in knowing that my little boy is definitely not a little boy any more, but a young man on the precipice of great things. Great things I know he’ll achieve because he is ready and willing to step boldly into the future of his dreams.

The question is, am I ready?

© Mariann E. Danko and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

Goddess Masthead © Pamela Danko-Stout and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

#wakingthewoman
#mommemoir
#classof2022
#collegegraduate
#uncertainty
#lettinggo
#dreamjob
#growingup
#becominganadult

Uncertainty & Fear of the Unknown

Every day is filled with a lot of the same old, same old, but it also holds the possibility of some uncertainty

There are things that could transpire on any given day, at any given time, that are out of our control, like you discover you have no hot water when you go to take a shower or get caught up in traffic backup en route to work which makes you late or a co-worker calls in sick which throws your work day out of whack.

Of course, all of these can be a nuisance and very frustrating, but some how we adjust and move forward. Trying not to let it cause a major hiccup in our day, week or even month for that matter. Every day uncertainties are just part of life. We learn to accept such events, and move forward.

And we most certainly shouldn’t spend time contemplating “what could happen” because that would just drain our energy reserves and make us useless.

There are however uncertainties that we do contemplate, and with my Son graduating from college this month, those are the ones circulating through both of our thoughts, which at times can create great anxiety, or at best distract us from the tasks at hand.

First, there are simple things, like where we should go to lunch after graduation, and when are we moving him home. These uncertainties are only uncertain because of indecisiveness, which when pushed, should be resolved. Frustrating yes, but not enough to cause major anxiety, just enough to cause distraction from the day-to-day tasks until resolved.

Then there are the major uncertainties, like what is my Son going to do once he graduates from college?

Some kids have it all figured out and know exactly where they want to head, especially if it’s grad school. While others want to just pause, clear their head and really take the time to plan, research and then hit the pavement for the career of their dreams.

My Son is somewhere in between these two, which is OK too, but I do believe fear of the unknown is what has at times put him into a state of paralysis which obviously gets him nowhere as far as contemplating his future.

Trust me, I get it. I was beyond scared when I graduated from art school. I also found out quickly getting a job as a graphic designer right out of art school was not an easy feat. I’d hear way too often, your portfolio is good, but you have no experience.

Of course I’m thinking how do I get experience if no one will hire me?

I realized quickly that I’d have to find a way in via another avenue, which in my case became that of a mechanical artist, which before computers was the person who did all the pre-press work by hand. I won’t get into details, but it was tedious work, which involved paying attention to a lot of detail because if you didn’t the job wouldn’t print correctly.

Regardless of how I felt about doing this work instead of design didn’t matter. What really mattered was this was the opportunity to get in on the ground floor and hope somewhere along the way someone in a higher ranking position saw my potential and gave me a chance to prove I could actually be creative too.

Fortunately this route did work, eventually working may way up to an associate designer at the largest advertising agency South of New York, at the time, Earle Palmer Brown in Bethesda, MD, which in turned opened the door to full designer opportunities.

I mention this because trying to convince my Son that he may have to take a similar route in order to reach his dream job of a world builder with a conceptual team for a game design company is hitting some roadblocks.

My Son has the perfect way to possibly get in with a game design company via that of sound and music editing because he took the specific classes necessary to be certified in a program that is used in the industry. When we’ve talked about this prospect, he seemed to agree that this was a very viable route.

When we last spoke about this in March though, he had started to change his tune. He stated he was actually considering just applying for the position he wants, despite not having a portfolio of valid writing work even with me reinforcing what I went through right out of college. I don’t know if it’s because he can’t see the parallels or if it’s a bit of self-sabotage because his fear of the unknown has him back peddling in pursuit of his dream job.

OR, none of the above.

He may just be so overwhelmed at the prospect of what comes next that he’s just not thinking straight. 

Based on the fact that I know he is afraid of what comes after college, I’m leaning towards the concept that he’s just overwhelmed and not thinking straight. Which is actually good, because that means once he’s home and has time to decompress, I’ll have an opportunity to talk some sense into him and hopefully prevent him from becoming frustrated and giving up, which is the most common form of fatigue in any ones job search.

Hearing no too many times is enough to kill your mojo and question whether going to college was even worth it. I most certainly don’t want to see this happen with my Son, because I know he’s very capable of being a great creative force in the world of gaming.

From a very young age I thought he’d end up in film or theater because of his amazing storytelling skills. But as he grew, his interests meandered to the world of gaming, and despite my fears of how consumed he became, with time I realized that this too is a very valid form of entertainment.

AND, indeed takes someone just like him to create the worlds these games are played in. In actuality, creating and producing a game is very much like the process involved in the film industry, and takes just as many people to make it come to fruition.

So, when it came to selecting his course of study for college, game development became number one. This enabled him to marry his love of gaming with computer science, and learn the skills that would actually make him marketable in the gaming world.

Now, here we are, at the point where this concept will be truly tested, graduation and the pursuit of his dream job.

Graduation is 14 days away, and in speaking with my Son yesterday, I can say I was extremely happy to hear that despite the crunch with final projects and final exams, he has been giving his future a lot of serious insightful thought.

He has already started to investigate entry-level positions in the gaming world, and is even thinking out of the box in regards to possibilities. Like working with a company that works with collegiate E-Sports teams, which he was part of all through college. Collegiate E-Sports is still in its infancy, and although this isn’t where he’d want to stay, he would be connected to the industry in a lateral way and use it as a means to make contacts.

Heck, he’s even considered looking into what’s available in the world of board games. Especially games like Dungeons and Dragons, which just like video games, need a world to be created to play within.

I can honestly say I stood in awe of my Son as he spoke yesterday. And although there is still a ton of uncertainty regarding his future, I know he’s got it under control, to a point, and is keeping his options wide open, and very willing to consider any opportunity that could eventually get him into his dream job, no matter how long that might take.

Now though, the focus is on wrapping up his Senior year, getting his diploma, and then taking a little time to decompress and recharge so he’s fully fueled up, ready to face his unknown future with certainty that he’s got what it takes to make his dreams come true.

Stay tuned for updates in future posts regarding not only my Son’s pursuit of his dream job, but my adjustments to having a college graduate back home.

© Mariann E. Danko and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

Goddess Masthead © Pamela Danko-Stout and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

All images courtesy of 123rf

College Grad and Mom – 123rf  – kozyrevaelena

#wakingthewoman
#mommemoir
#classof2022
#collegegrad
#uncertainty
#fearoftheunknown
#dreamjob
#gamedevelopment
#thinkingoutofthebox

COMPASSION IN ACTION

COMPASSION – sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it

Like most, watching the devastation in Ukraine unfold on the nightly news has my heart breaking for the poor Ukrainians who are being forced to flee their homeland for safety. Seeing the fear and desperation on their faces has brought me to tears multiple times. I have experienced losses in my life, but nothing that could ever compare to what the people of Ukraine are being forced to face.

This has made me realize more than anything, how truly blessed and fortunate I am. No matter what challenges or hardships I may face, I know I will never experience the level of anguish the Ukrainians are experiencing. 

To say this has made me feel extreme levels of compassion is an understatement. 

I am a strong advocate of prayer, and have been praying every day for peace in Ukraine, and safety for all Ukrainians, but as each day passes, with more devastation, my desire to do more has been growing and nagging at my soul.

BUT HOW?

I live on a tight budget, so making a large donation wasn’t feasible. I do realize though, that the needs are so great, any donation is worthy, but it felt like what I could donate was just a bandaid.

More and more organizations have been popping up that are collecting items to ship, which I will do, once I find one locally, but that still didn’t seem like enough. It was then that I realized maybe there was a way I could help by using my creative abilities. 

SO, I set out to create a piece of chalk art that would represent Ukraine and the need for peace, with the intent that I could some how do a fundraiser selling tee-shirts with the art on it.

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” – St. Theresa of Calcutta

Upon investigating ways to set up a tee-shirt fundraiser, I found the best and most effective route would be to set up the new design in my online shop through Spring, formerly TeeSpring, the print-on-demand company I use. 100% of my profits are donated to the charity of my choice selected from the listing of charities the company has an established relationship with.

SO, that is exactly what I did.

My PEACE FOR UKRAINE – TEES FOR PEACE campaign went live on Friday, March 11th. Spring handles all the rest: taking the orders, processing payment, printing, shipping and sending my profits to the International Rescue Committee (IRC), the charity I chose, whenever I request the payout to be made.

It couldn’t get any easier and I’m thrilled.

NOTE this is just a screenshot of site. Live link is at bottom of post.

I have posted info on Facebook and Instagram, and followed up with a paid boost of the post to flood Facebook and Instagram. The response has been extremely positive, and to date I have raised $447 dollars, $197 over the $250 goal I had.

To say I’m thrilled is an understatement.

The fundraiser is open-ended, so when I hit $500, I will request a payout to be sent to the IRC. Then I’ll start a new tally, donating in smaller increments depending on how sales are going.

As long as the war goes on, so will my fundraiser. I will continue to find ways to spread the word in hopes the sales will continue.

“Make the best use of what is in your power, & take the rest as it happens.’ – Epictetus

If you are interested in purchasing a TEE FOR PEACE below is the link:

https://www.thechalkcharmer.shopping/listing/peace-for-ukraine-tees-for-p?product=2

Information on the International Rescue Committee and their mission in Ukraine and Poland can be found here:

https://www.rescue.org/

 “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” – Helen Keller

© Mariann E. Danko and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

Goddess Masthead © Pamela Danko-Stout and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

All art courtesy of the CHALK Charmer – 2022

#wakingthewoman
#mommemoir
#peaceforukraine
#standwithukraine
#endwar
#ukraine
#teesforpeace
#compassioninaction

EMPTY NEST BLACK HOLE

The reality of the possibility of a very empty nest is quickly sinking in since my Son went back to school for the Spring Semester of his Senior year.

Granted, my Son doesn’t have a job lined up post graduation, or any prospects that I know of, just yet, but considering his major is video game design, I’m well aware that jobs in that field don’t exist in the area we live. So sticking around home post graduation for an extended period of time doesn’t seem like a possibility.

In addition, his girlfriend and he are getting pretty serious and she may be going to law school post graduation, which means he may very well consider employment near wherever she lands.

I’ve been working on adjusting to my Son getting serious about a girl after not really dating through high school and the first three years of college. As a single mom with only one child, to say this takes some getting use to is an understatement. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled for my Son. It’s wonderful to see how happy he is with her. Plus, she’s not only a sweetheart of a girl, she’s also very ambitious and driven, which has been a positive influence on my Son.

BUT, having both the prospect of my Son really moving away from home, and a serious relationship running parallel is a lot for me digest at once, especially because the relationship itself is still very much new, having just gotten serious in August. The two have been friends since Freshman year, never revealing feelings for each other until the start of this school year, so to say it came out of nowhere is an understatement.

I knew the day would come, but I figured I would have a bit more warning. 

With that said, we are here now, and with each passing day, I find myself bouncing between I’m good, to I’m feeling lonely and maybe I should get a dog. I honestly never thought I’d feel lonely, especially because between working full time, working on establishing my chalk art business, creating new chalk art, writing this blog, and all that goes into owning a home and daily chores, I have plenty to keep me busy and take my mind off the empty house.

BUT, some days it just feels extremely empty.

The irony is I’m actually quite content being by myself, and am basically more of an introvert than extrovert, and although the first semester of my Son’s Freshman year challenged me, as I expected, I actually began to get comfortable with everything. So why I’m going in and out of a funk now is a bit confusing for me.

I’m sure a lot of this ties to the fact that it’s Winter so I’m not out socializing with neighbors like I do during warmer weather. PLUS, because of the pandemic, my Son was home with me taking classes remotely from March of 2020 to August of 2021 when he started his Senior year. AND, during the Fall semester he and his girlfriend visited at least 3 times, and then he was home on Winter break from Thanksgiving till January 23rd, and during that time his girlfriend spent 3 weeks with us, so I had more company than I’m use to and loved it.

Needless to say I got very comfortable with having my Son home and really enjoyed when his girlfriend was there too. It was nice to have company for dinner every night and even hangout and watch TV with them sometimes.

The bottom line, it gave me purpose, I felt needed. The older my Son gets the less he needs me, and with a girlfriend to discuss problems with, I’m certainly not the first one he contacts any more. Which once again is a good thing, but to have it happen sort of all of a sudden, out of nowhere, is harder to adjust to than anticipated. 

Now of course, having a child need you less as they get older is a natural progression, but because of how things have been since COVID my presence in my Son’s life was a bit more prominent for a bit longer, which is most certainly why I’m feeling this transition even more. Had my Son’s college years been “normal” I may not be feeling the emptiness as much. The transition would have been more gradual and I could have worked through these emotions each year leading up to graduation.

BUT, that’s not the case at all. The growth that started was stalled, and put on hold, sort off. Now however, I’m being thrown in the deep end so to speak, and trying keep my head above water.

With Spring and warmer weather not far off, I’m hopeful this will help shake that funky lonely feeling looming in my soul sometimes. Most of the time I’m pretty good, but every once in awhile, the emptiness of the house just really hits me regardless of how busy I keep myself. I know I’ll get past this, but until then I need to honor my emotions for what they are, growing pains.  

Just as my Son is spreading his wings and learning to fly solo, I too need to learn to be more than my Son’s Mom. I need to rediscover me. Rediscover the woman I was before becoming a Mom. Which ironically is why I started to write this blog when he went off to college. And although I have had some growth, I’m now realizing I still have a way to go yet.

Discovering the chalk art has been wonderful for my creative growth, which in turn helps my soul growth, but that’s only part of  “growth beyond parenting.” There’s certainly more growing than I ever considered when I stepped into this adventure I endearingly called “Waking the Woman”

Change is never an easy thing, but it is necessary for any real growth, and I’m guessing based on the loneliness I’m feeling at times I’ve been avoiding some aspects of me that need to change in order to get over this hurdle. What, I’m not sure of though.

As I have noted in past posts, I’m very good at filling my days with tasks. Some fun, some just every day stuff. Basing my personal fulfillment on how much I’ve accomplished. While this certainly helps me cover a lot of ground in a day, which was critical during my heavy-duty single parenting days, I’m now realizing, this behavior is enabling me, allowing me to avoid dealing with what’s going on inside or even keeping me from allowing myself time to “play.”

Not any more though, although the busyness does help most of the time, it doesn’t seem to be working that well any more, if it did I wouldn’t be writing this post. 

SO, is the universe trying to tell me it’s not just about the very empty nest?

Could it also be about getting older and all that goes with aging, especially after the health issues I faced in 2021?

OR, could it be about learning how to lighten my to do list so I have more time to “play?”

OR, could it be I may not want to head into my Senior years alone?

OR, is it all of the above backing me into a corner now that I don’t have the serious distraction of parenting dominating my time?

I’m guessing it’s most definitely all of the above, which makes my journey of rediscovery even more interesting. Not sure I’m ready for that much discovery just yet, but I don’t think I have any say in this journey any more – the universe is in control.

© Mariann E. Danko and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

Goddess Masthead © Pamela Danko-Stout and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

Empty Nest artwork courtesy of the CHALK Charmer ©2021

https://www.facebook.com/TheCHALKCharmer/

Moving Out – ©123rf studioworkstock

Busyness – ©123rf prettyvectors

Clip Art Courtesy of 123rf

#wakingthewoman

#mommemoir

#emptynest

#emptynestblackhole

#singleparenting

#singlemom

#selfdiscovery

#selfhelp

Hippie State of Mind

Trying to stay positive can be quite the challenge with the pandemic still looming and the media trying to poison our thoughts every day with constant negativity. Yes, you can try to block it all out, but it’s not that simple. With technology what it is, we’re bombarded from all sides with news feed. 

AND, that news feed is generally far from inspiring and uplifting.

Hippie State of Mind ” – original chalk art by the CHALK Charmer
AKA Mariann E. Danko © 2022

BUT, by chance one day while scrolling through Facebook I came across the “Imagine Peace” page, which as a John Lennon fan instantly intrigued me, so I checked it out. It’s a simple site with retro images and artwork all promoting peace and harmony. I thought how wonderfully inspiring and uplifting, and decided to follow the page.

Not soon after that, the “Hippie State of Mind” page popped into my Facebook feed and upon checking that page out discovered a site similar to “Imagine Peace” with retro images and artwork, but their messages extend even further than peace and harmony. They touch on your overall mental state and well being from a “Hippie State of Mind.”

After discovering these two sites, I knew I was onto something that could truly help me attempt to attain a positive state of mind in a world full of turmoil and stress

“Good Vibrations” – original chalk art by the CHALK Charmer
AKA Mariann E. Danko © 2022

Since starting to follow these 2 pages, as is normal with the “Big Brother Watching You” Practices of Facebook, I continue to get more and more pages of similar content popping up. Although I’m not thrilled with Facebook tracking me, I do rather enjoy all the upbeat, positive and inspirational quotes with beautiful and retro images surfacing in my feed.

AND, it is because of this; I am working on retaining a “Hippie State of Mind” in 2022 and beyond. Maybe it’s because I turned 60 last year, and am a child of the 60’s and 70’s, or maybe it’s just because like most everyone else, I’m exhausted by how draining the world around me can be. The idea of living in a shack in the middle of nowhere with no TV, phone or Internet sounds extremely appealing some days.

In reality, I know physically running away is not an option, but that doesn’t mean I can’t mentally and emotionally, which in turn will most certainly help my physical health too.

“Flower Power” – original chalk art by the CHALK Charmer
AKA Mariann E. Danko © 2022

Peace, Love, Harmony, Hope and Kindness are the traits that are fluid with the “Hippie State of Mind.”

All of which help to keep a happy, upbeat and positive state of mind, so, I’m working on keeping this upbeat and positive energy in the flow of my every day, regardless of what I’m confronted with. Granted, prior to this, in general I feel I’ve always tried to live by this type of mentality, but when confronted with situations that test this energy, I haven’t always stayed true to it and let the negativity rule and bring me down.

BUT now, I’m trying to pause when I feel my energy shifting, and remind myself of the importance on hanging onto my “Hippie State of Mind.”

Does this sound like I’m attempting to look at life through rose-colored glasses? Maybe, but with the state of the world right now I think those rose-colored glasses could be very helpful on those challenging days.

“Spread Kindness” – original chalk art by the CHALK Charmer
AKA Mariann E. Danko © 2022

PLUS, if you look back at the state of the world that gave birth to the “Hippie State of Mind” to a point we’re not that far off, and if more people tried to adapt this mentality, we might just lay the ground work for a complete energy shift around the world.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

SO, with that said, if you’re up to it, why don’t you join me on this new adventure for 2022 and beyond, and see if we can shift the negative energy surrounding us to uplifting and positive.

I know it won’t be easy, especially for those who are facing great challenges. BUT, if you start out small, like seeking only positive sites to follow like I noted above, the info you see swirling around you will slowly shift to positive, and hopefully override the massive amounts of negativity trying to take hold.

In the immortal words of John Lennon
“Imagine all the people livin’ life in peace. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world will be as one”

“Hearts United” – original chalk art by the CHALK Charmer
AKA Mariann E. Danko © 2020

© Mariann E. Danko and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

Goddess Masthead © Pamela Danko-Stout and Waking the Woman, 2022. All rights reserved.

All artwork courtesy of the CHALK Charmer © 2020 -2022

https://www.facebook.com/TheCHALKCharmer/

#wakingthewoman

#hippiestateofmind

#comeongethappy

#positivity

#peaceloveharmonyhope&happiness

#positivemindset

#mommemoir

#thechalkcharmer

NO “TIME” LIKE THE PRESENT

“How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before it’s afternoon. December is here before it’s June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?”    Dr. Seuss

And here we are again, at the dawning of a NEW YEAR.

How can that possibly be?

Where did 2021 go to?

It feels like time passes much to quickly every year, especially the older I get.

AND, this time of year, time passes at warp speed, and there never seems to be enough hours in the day to accomplish all the extra tasks at hand, this year even more so. I’ve never felt a holiday season feel so compressed before. No sooner did Advent start it was Christmas Day.

Granted, I know it’s because Christmas fell on a Saturday, and like most people, I calculate my time available by the weekends available, so when Christmas falls on a weekend, technically you loose a weekend of time for the tasks at hand.

AND, had I been able to get an earlier start on things time would not have been chasing me down the closer Christmas got. BUT, dealing with health issues from mid-October into November certainly didn’t help with my time management. It did however force me to get a little creative with what time I had, and what I thought I was capable of achieving.

It also made me decide, I get done what I get done. If something doesn’t happen it’s not the end of the world. Did I still try to accomplish all that I had hoped to? Of course, but I didn’t chastise myself if I didn’t. That’s a huge accomplishment for me.

“Own time, or time will own you.”  —  Brian Norgard

In general, when it comes to weekends, I feel like there never seems to be enough time in the day to complete all the things I hope to accomplish. Maybe it’s just because I’m not moving at the same pace as I used to, or it could be because I tend to create lists that not even someone half my age could accomplish, given the time at hand.

You’d think by now I’d start to create more realistic lists instead of challenging myself with a mountain to climb and no hiking boots. Maybe my New Years resolution should be to do just that?

“We go back and forth between being time’s master and its victim.”  —  James Gleick

I’ve always been a list maker, and find great pleasure in crossing things off my to do list. I know that being this way is what helped me make it as a single parent. My lists were (and still are) my saving grace, especially when my Son got more involved with extra-curricular activities.

BUT, now that my Son is in college, and I hit 60 and am eying retirement, despite the goal I have set regarding establishing a chalk art merchandise business, I need to learn to be a little lighter on the to do list, and include a little more play time.

“As time goes by, you seem to weed out the things that were making your life hard.”  —  Tom Petty

NOW, a lot of the extra stuff on my lists is because of my goal of establishing a side business to allow me to retire with a cushion, but even with that, I have to start giving myself a break. I feel like I honestly don’t know how to just chill, unless all my tasks for the day are done, and that just never really happens. I technically just call it a day when it gets to be late and I need to get dinner.

I do take time to exercise, either bike riding or walking, and of course to do my chalk art, but other than that it’s chores or business related stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I actually enjoy some of the chores, and am inspired when pursuing the business related stuff, but my Son is a gamer, and I just couldn’t imagine sitting at a computer for hours gaming, to me that’s just wasted time.

“Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.”  —  John Lennon

SO, how the hell do I find a happy medium between Type A List Oriented Mentality and Sit Around and Game All Day Mentality?

Granted, for my Son, gaming is a form of entertainment and relaxation, and as a college-student who’s majoring in game design, I get that this is what he fills his free time with. BUT, it seems to take precedence over things that need to get done beyond schoolwork.

I just can’t do that with anything. I fantasize about spending an afternoon reading or watching an old movie or binging some show, but I just can’t get myself to do that unless I’m not feeling well.

If I don’t schedule my walk, bike ride or chalk art into my day, it won’t happen.

Now of course my Son is still in college and unencumbered by the chores/tasks involved with the world of a work full-time, homeowner, grown-up, but I know my Task Master mentality is not that of every grown-up.

I tell myself when I’m retired I’ll have more time to play, but in reality if I don’t learn to lighten up now, I’m quite sure I’ll still be filling my retired days with more tasks than play.

“The way we spend our time defines who we are.”  —  Jonathan Estrin

Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of what I’ve been able to accomplish beyond every day tasks because of my time-management, and I’m grateful I actually have that skill set, but when I’m so consumed with doing that just being falls by the way side, I know something has to give.

Add to it, I am slowing down, and have to learn to accept that it’s OK to take longer to climb the mountain. AND, honor the fact that I’ve earned more down time. It’s the down time I need to refuel for that climbing, and that will help inspire me for more playful pursuits.

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”  —  Napoleon Hill

Of course this quote is in reference to pursuing your dreams, which ironically I have used to inspire me to keep pushing, but where I stand now, I feel it’s a reflection of the fact that I need more balance between pushing and playing. AND, no matter how hard that may be for me, I know that needs to be a “goal” for me in the New Year. Especially with all the past 2 years have dumped on the world.

SO, with that said

I hope you all have a very happy, healthy, and “time” balanced 2022. 

AND – REMEMBER“There’s only one thing more precious than our time and that’s who we spend it on.”  —  Leo Christopher

© Mariann E. Danko and Waking the Woman, 2021. All rights reserved.

Goddess Masthead © Pamela Danko-Stout and Waking the Woman, 2021. All rights reserved.

Clip Art Courtesy – ©123rf

Dawning of NEW YEAR – Copyright: <a href=’https://www.123rf.com/profile_nicholashan’>nicholashan</a&gt;

#WakingtheWoman

#MomMemoir

#TimeTheGreatEqualizer

#NoTimeLikeThePresent

#TimeManagement

#BalanceWork&Play

MEDICAL CONUNDRUM

As many of you know I’ve encounter my share of medical issues and challenges that have all been discovered or transpired because of treatment for another issue.

In 2010 Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis Disease was diagnosed during a physical after pneumonia that went sepsis post surgery for a herniated disc in my neck. The pneumonia was triggered by a staff infection picked up in the hospital.

In 2016 Fibromascular Dysplasia (FMD), a very rare vascular disorder, was diagnosed after a trip to ER for what I thought was an adverse reaction to anti-viral medication for shingles. Turned out to be a renal infarct, another very rare disorder.

In 2018 Microscopic Colitis was diagnosed after severe boats with diarrhea and stomach pain that escalated for months till I could barely eat, leading me to the gastroenterologist.

Turns out, this was caused by the baby aspirin prescribed for the FMD.

Added to the pleasure of 2018 was the need to have half my thyroid removed because of a possible cancerous nodule which ties to the Hashimotos. Thank God it was benign.

2019 was spent trying to get control of the Microscopic Colitis because I couldn’t take the medication given to help settle the inflammation caused by the baby aspirin, which by this point was reduced to every other day every other week. With the help of a nutritionist I was able to get my gut back in order and so far I’m holding my own with the FMD thank God.

https://wakingthewoman.com/2019/09/

By 2020, by the grace of God, despite the pandemic, things with my health seemed to settle down. AND, I even found a new creative outlet, chalk art, which has been my saving grace as far as keeping me grounded and sane.

BUT, 2021 is turning out to be quite challenging once again.

Contracting COVID in January/February took me some time to completely bounce back from. Then a breast cancer scare in August had me on edge until the biopsy results were in. It was benign thank God.

AND NOW, I’m once again traveling a road of a medical conundrum that’s got my family doctor and an immunologist a bit stumped and a little bit at odds.

Early in October I had what obviously appeared to be cellulitis on the back of my leg. I assumed I got bit by something, but had no clue by what and when. My family doctor sent me to the ER because they were concerned it could also be a blood clot.

SO, I took a half days vacation and sat in the ER for 4 hours until I could be seen. At which time 2 physicians came in to check the red blotch on the back of my thigh. The first doctor wanted to run blood work to rule out Lyme and also an ultrasound to rule out blood clot, just to be safe.

BUT, the second physician, who specialized in Medical Toxicology saw no need and was convinced it was cellulitis.

He also was convinced although I had a noted allergy to penicillin, because it dated back to my childhood and I had no idea what the allergy was, I would be just fine taking Keflex, an antibiotic in the penicillin family.

Me being a trusting soul didn’t question his logic. 

Note, the immunologist concurred that his thinking was indeed correct. Considering what happened next, I beg to differ.

The dosage was 500mg 4 times a day and by the time I got to day 3, my entire body was riddled with inflammation. I could barely get out of bed. My hands, neck, shoulders, knees and feet were so swollen I could barely function. 

The family doctor told me to stop the Keflex and put me on Doxicycline, but never did anything to address the inflammation, assuming once I stopped the first antibiotic I would see signs of relief.

Boy were they wrong.

This all started on a Friday and by Monday I was no better. A phone call to the family doctor eventually lead to me having to be seen by the family doctor who put me on steroids, the step down pack.

The first 2 days I saw signs of relief, but by no means was the inflammation gone. Once the steroid pack was done the inflammation reared it’s ugly head even worse than the first time. By the following Monday I could barely walk, or even sit down and getting dressed took at the minimum 20 minutes.

I called the doctor’s office the minute they opened and it was decided I was having a reaction to the second antibiotic, so I was told to stop that one and they once again put me on another step down steroid pack.

The same pattern repeated itself. Saw signs of relief initially on the days when the dosage was at it’s highest, but by the time the steroids were done, my entire body was once again inflamed.

And this time worse than before.

It even hurt to walk my feet were so inflamed and I couldn’t bend my knees at all. Getting up and down was beyond painful. And my hands looked like I had been in boxing match they were so swollen. 

Since the doctor couldn’t see me I was told to go to urgent care.

Needless to say the provider I saw was not thrilled to have the family doctor kicking me to them when they were suppose to be “taking care of the situation.” BUT, he could see how bad the situation was, and that I was in a lot of pain.

SO, having listened to my story closely, and acknowledging that the days I saw the most relief were the higher steroid dosage days, he decided to try 6 days of steroids at 20mg.

This certainly helped, but after the steroids started to wear off I was back to having pain, especially in my neck and shoulders, which kept me from sleeping. And my hands were still swollen which impeded my every day functions.

To say I was frustrated is an understatement, so I decided it was time to seek out an immunologist, hoping they might have more insight into why my body could be having such a reaction, and what to do next.

I was able to get a same day appointment with a new immunologist in the area and I’m grateful I went to her. She was not convinced that I had a reaction to 2 antibiotics. As a matter of fact she felt it had to be something else and tested me for Lyme’s disease

On the other side of the coin, my family doctor stilled believed it was just my body reacting to the meds, but felt it was well worth testing for possible rheumatology issues.

SO, off to the lab I went, twice in one week.

In the meantime I had to just wait it out because neither provider wanted to put me on any more steroids until they got some further details. Fortunately, although there was still inflammation, it was nothing like it had been. I was able to function, not perfectly, and certainly not without pain, but I could function.

The first provider to get back to me was the immunologist. The Lyme titers were negative, which meant the reason as to why was still unanswered, but she knew I was still in pain and decided to put me back on steroids, 10mg for 30 days, which did indeed help, but when I saw her next it was easy to see my hands were still swollen in the knuckles

It was then she decided to try a burst of steroids with a step down, 40mg for 5 days, 30mg for 2 days, 20mg for 2 days, then 10mg for 2 days.

Finally we hit the jackpot, by the weekend I was finally starting to feel like me again and able to do things I hadn’t been able to for the past month.

I also heard back from my family doctor regarding the rheumatology blood work. Although it came back positive, they saw no urgency to get me in with a specialist, so I won’t get any further feedback in that area until March when I could get an appointment.

SO, after more than a month of back and forth and on and off again steroids, I can say I’m feeling better, thank God, but no confirmation as to whether it was just the meds that caused the problem, or if they triggered some underlying issue. 

AND, although I have a follow up with the immunologist, I don’t know what more she can do because she’s not the one that ordered the rheumatology blood work.

For me though, all that matters is I am doing better and I not only know 2 more medications I have a sensitivity to, but that I do most certainly have an extremely sensitive system, and regardless of what a doctor says, I need to reinforce this. The older I get the more sensitive I am to medications and it’s up to me to be my own advocate because the medical professionals only want to dish out the standard fix and not think out of the box.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful for all the professionals that helped me through this, but it was one of those professionals who blatantly ignored what I said which in turn created this mess.

At least that’s the way I see it.

SO, in conclusion, question everything, especially when it comes to your health. AND, by all means be your own advocate. After all, you know your body and how it ticks better than any else. And if you don’t, you should or your situation could be worse than the one I just traveled.

© Mariann E. Danko and Waking the Woman, 2021. All rights reserved.

Goddess Masthead © Pamela Danko-Stout and Waking the Woman, 2021. All rights reserved.

Clip Art Courtesy – ©123rf

Lab Work – booblgum

Confused – harunatsukobo

#WakingtheWoman

#MomMemoir

#MedicalConundrum

#BeYourOwnAdvocate

#QuestionEverything