Although November 20, 2022 was a day like any other day for most people, for my Son and I, it brought about an end of an era.
On that date, the series finale of “The Walking Dead” TV show aired. This wasn’t just the end of any TV show. It was the end of a show that changed my relationship with my Son.
My Son discovered “The Walking Dead” (TWD) the Summer of 2013 which was just before starting 8th grade, the transition year before starting high school.
Knowing that the horror genre was not one of his favorites, I thought for sure this would be a short-lived adventure.
AND, one I certainly never thought I’d end up on with him.
Boy was I wrong!
It all started with a chance opportunity to hear some of the TWD cast members speak at a convention near our home in September of 2013. I was fortunate enough to get free passes, and because I have written screenplays, and love to hear behind the scene stories of filmmaking, I figured even if I wasn’t interested in the show, I could still appreciate what they had to say. And earn me some points with my then 13 year-old Son.
Plus, we might actually have fun together at the convention.
As I listened to the actors speak, my perspective of this show shifted. I discovered it might not be just an apocalyptic zombie show, and there could possibly be more to it. BUT, the only way to find out for sure was to watch a few episodes.
That was all it took. I was sucked in and the world of “The Walking Dead” officially became my Son and my thing.
By this point 3 seasons had passed, so we had some catching up to do before Season 4 started in Mid-October. AND, this was before streaming services were the big thing, so we had to rent DVD’s. Yes, rent DVD’s. Which is just what we did. We were hell bent and determined to be caught up by the start of the new season.
It was also very helpful that AMC replayed the previous season leading up to the new season and often did marathons.
We both became completely immersed in the TWD world and couldn’t wait for Sunday nights when the show aired. AND, between breaks in the season and seasons we were sure to find other related things to do.
Like road tripping to Georgia in the Summer of 2014 to tour areas where they film the show.
AND, in 2015 we went to our first Walker Stalker Con, which was a convention strictly dedicated to The Walking Dead. We were able to meet Chandler Riggs, the actor who played Carl, and Greg Nicotero, the mastermind behind the zombie makeup. Being close in age to not only Chandler Riggs, but also the character Carl, my Son was extremely excited to meet him because as can be expected Carl was his favorite character.
We were novices at convention protocol at the first convention, but by our 2nd and 3rd Walker Stalker Cons we knew the drill. We thought you had to be buying an autograph or photo op in order to meet the actors. BUT we discovered they had lines for people who couldn’t afford to pay for those things, but wanted an opportunity to speak briefly with the actor. This was an amazing thing to discover and enabled us to meet the majority of actors at the convention. Some even taking pics without paying, especially because we came bearing gifts. Gifts related to a blog I was writing.
Yes, believe it or not, I also started a blog in January of 2014 about how the show had become my new parenting tool. I endearingly called it “Waking the Walker – a Mother’s quest to survive her Son’s zombie years – AKA his teens” Because the show had a strong moral theme running through it, and as I noted earlier, the character Carl was close to my Son’s age, I was able to pull life examples and lessons from the show which enable me to get through my Son’s very typical zombie, teen brain.
I wrote this blog from 2014 through 2018, at which time my Son had left for college, which once again changed the dynamics of our relationship, and became the catalysis for this blog.
While writing “Waking the Walker” I covered topics like trust, moral compass, respect, uncertainty, motivation, fear of the unknown, being prepared, and independence. And even wrote about our road trips and convention adventures.
Writing this blog most definitely helped me work though any issues that reared their ugly head, and I can say actually helped our relationship run a little smoother.
In 2017 we took a second trip to Georgia, and just like the cons, we discovered ways to find filming sites beyond the official tours, to include an Ap that actually had locations tagged on a map. This was a fantastic way to explore the rural territories of Georgia that had become the key filming spots for TWD.
In addition, by this time, there were plenty of official touring companies around, to include Chandler Riggs father. He had some amazing behind-the-scene stories to tell for sure. Some of the other tour companies, like Atlanta Movie Tours, had actors who appeared either as extras or walkers on the show, as their tour guides, which again made their tours more than just seeing the location, you got inside stories about the filming of the scene at that specific location.
To say this was exciting for us is an understatement. We were so immersed in the show by this point it’s all we thought about.
As any parent knows, the teen years can very challenging, and then throw in starting high school, and you have a perfect storm of moodiness and disconnection. BUT, I got lucky, having found “The Walking Dead” at the same time. The connection we made because of the show became my saving grace, and the very thing that changed the dynamics of my relationship with my Son forever.
The show may have ended, but the changes it brought to the bond with my Son are eternal, and can never be broken. We will forever have the memories of all our adventures together, which I know for a fact would not have happened if not for “The Walking Dead”
Individually each one these women were amazing in their own right.
Kathryn Amanda Dechert Krill August 24, 1911 – January 10, 1998 A Rosie the Riveter and Small Business Owner
Mabel Mae Dechert Swanger October 24, 1912 – March 3, 2013 Pursued a Career as a Hairdresser in her 40’s
Helen Grace Dechert Danko September 13, 1920 – April 10, 2015 Registered Nurse, ran the health services for students at DeSales University
Elizabeth “Betty” Mary Dechert Koblentz Kutz November 12, 1926 – July 11, 2011 Beauty Shop Owner
Mildred “Mickey” Alice Dechert Bortz March 23, 1928 – July 10, 2020 Home Health Care Provider, long before it was ever classified as a real occupation
As a group though, they were a force to be reckoned with.
All strong women forging their own paths at a time when that was not the protocol for women, they were certainly pioneers. BUT they didn’t see it that way. They never saw themselves as anything other than ordinary.
BUT ordinary they were not.
They were feminists before feminists were a thing, but they never came off as anything other than caring, loving women, who wanted nothing more than the best for every person they ever met, especially their family.
Family always came first, no matter what.
They loved completely, lived fully, and persevered through some of the toughest situations: divorce, loss of a spouse, loss of a child, health challenges, and financial difficulties.
And lived through some of histories greatest events: The Great Depression, World War I and World War II, Korean War, Vietnam War, President Kennedy’s Assassination, Watergate Scandal, Persian Gulf War, and the Terrorists Attacks on 911.
Plus, endured ridicule for being poor, their heritage, their “duchy accent”, and their religion/faith.
YET, they never flinched.
Did they cry? Most definitely. No matter how resilient they were, they were human, with huge hearts that felt everything.
Did they get angry? Sure, why wouldn’t they? Once again, they were human, and felt everything very deeply.
Did they retaliate? ABSOLUTELY NOT, it wasn’t in their nature. They wouldn’t stoop to the attackers level. That was not who they were.
They had each other’s back and were always there to support one another. They were all cut from the same cloth and they understood each other better than anyone else.
Regardless of what they may have been confronting, others always came first. A rarity no matter what era. Their empathy for their fellow man was greater than any struggle they may have been enduring.
Kassie, Mabel, Helen, Betty and Mickey, lived their lives by following the Golden Rule – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
They were the “Personification of Love and Kindness.”
Their every action was motivated by their deep, unadulterated love of family and their fellow man. At their core they knew nothing more.
The Dechert Sisters legacy of love left an indelible mark on the hearts of all who knew them. They may have achieved great things, but who they were at their core, what made their souls shine, is how they are remembered.
“You have no idea what your legacy will be because your legacy is every life you touch.” – Maya Angelou
Their children and grandchildren cherish every memory they have and honor the beauty of their souls by trying to carry on their legacy.
Living up to these women’s example is a tough feat, but the amount of love that flows through this extended family is a true extension of the love these five beautiful women bestowed upon every one of them.
Family continues to be the priority for each of their children and grandchildren, and it’s obvious the circle of love will continue for generations to come.
Especially by keeping their astonishing stories alive.
Mildred, better known as “Mickey” was the 5th and youngest daughter of Sallie and David Dechert, but in no way was she ever really the “baby” of the family other than in age.
By the time she was an adult, Mickey’s home became the central meeting point for all the sisters and their families.
AND, she sort of became the keeper of all that was going on within the extended family. She was like the central switchboard operator, with all lines of communication going through her.
I’m thinking some of this was because Mickey, by choice, stayed in Myerstown, while all the other sisters ventured out beyond their little hometown, SO, by default, she became the center of the family without even realizing it.
BUT, there were also the unique relationships Mickey forged with each one of her sisters.
All the sisters were very tight and absolutely loved spending time together, but because there was such a large gap in age between Mickey and her older sisters Kassie and Mabel, the dynamics between them was different than with she and Betty, who was just two years older.
Kassie and Mabel were teenagers by the time Mickey and Betty were born and actually helped to raise the youngest Dechert girls, but in no way did they ever resent this though. As a matter, by the time Mickey and Betty were school age, both Kassie and Mabel were married, and along with their husbands, would often take the girls places, and even buy them little gifts.
SO, instead of being “older” sisters who dominated their younger siblings, they were Mickey and Betty’s equal, which you don’t often find between younger and older siblings with a large age gap. And this bond of equality just tightened, as they got older.
Now Helen was only 6 when Mickey was born, which is not as much of a gap, but enough of one that allowed Helen to also step in to help with her younger sisters whenever she was called upon. But in no way did that impact the dynamics between Helen and her younger siblings. She too felt like their equal, not an older sibling who could boss them around.
As a matter of fact, Mickey and Helen and their families became extremely close over the years, in part because of the closeness in age between their children, but even more so because they had very similar personalities.
Plus they both inherited their Mother Sallie’s baking gene carrying on the traditional Pennsylvania German treats they grew up on.
Now Mickey and Betty, being the youngest, were tight as tight could be. As a matter of fact, it was Betty who had a hand in Mickey meeting her husband Forrest.
As the story goes, Mickey had been dating a young man who turned out to be not the best match for her, so they split up. After this adventure Mickey, who would have been in her early 20’s, was not in any hurry to start dating again. Betty however disagreed, and being the charmer that she was, talked Mickey into joining her and her husband Bob to a dance at a local social club.
Forrest, who was chatting with a friend when the threesome arrived, spotted Mickey right away. When his friend commented about the red head who just arrived, Forrest commented, not the red head, the blonde.
For Forrest It was love at first sight, and he wasn’t going let that blonde leave without finding out who she was.
Finding a table near Mickey, Betty and Bob, Forrest was able to keep tabs on Mickey and when the time was right asked her to dance. Mickey was very reluctant at first, but eventually gave in, and upon doing so Forrest told her every dance that night was his.
As the evening was drawing to a close, Forrest overheard Mickey, Betty and Bob discussing going to a diner for breakfast. Not one to back down, Forrest showed up at the diner, and before you knew it he was sitting with the three of them.
And that pretty much sealed the relationship.
Forrest, who lived outside of Myerstown, would come into town to visit Mickey as often as possible. The two started dating seriously and by early 1951 the two were married, and their first child, Jimmy (Jim), was born in October.
After WW2, Forrest had taken advantage of the college incentive available and headed to Kutztown University where he got a degree in art education. When he met Mickey he was teaching at a high school in Reading, but when things got serious between them he took a job as a serviceman for Metropolitan Edison Electric Co.
At one point, he even had an offer to work on TV sets in New York City, but Mickey had no interest in leaving Myerstown, so without giving it a second thought, Forrest found work that was more suitable to support a wife and family.
Having an outgoing personality paid off in the promotion department for Forrest, who by 1956 was a “right of way” agent for MetEd, which helped support, their growing family.
In 1957, their second child Kathy Rose was born, with Judy Lynn soon after in 1960, and their youngest, Mike, in 1965.
Mickey loved being a mother. She was a natural and it was her greatest joy, which is why the loss of a child, Johnny, in 1958, was beyond devastating for her. He had only lived for one day, which about destroyed Mickey.
Thank goodness she had her sisters to support her through this crushing loss. Especially Kassie, who stepped in to help with Kathy. In so doing it allowed Mickey the time she needed to heal and figure out how to move forward.
As it turns out, Mickey’s dedication and devotion to her children and family would be her saving grace. Her world revolved around them and it showed in the tender loving care she put into everything, from her cooking, baking, housekeeping and selfless support of everyone in her life, not just her family.
Whenever anyone needed help Mickey was there. Early on she and Forrest took in her parents David and Sallie when David become ill, and Sallie lived with Mickey and her family until she passed in 1972. Sallie was senile late in her life, so there were some interesting days to say the least, but through it all Mickey was always upbeat and had a big smile on her face.
The bond between Sallie and Mickey was extremely tight, and this was evident in the story of Sallie’s passing.
At the end of her life Sallie was in a coma at the hospital. With nothing more they could do, the doctors told Mickey it was best to bring her home, and just make her comfortable till her time came. Upon bringing Sallie into the house, she opened her eyes, grabbed Mickey’s arm and said “Mickey it’s so nice to be home.”
Sallie passed a few days later and although the loss was very painful for Mickey, she knew by Sallie’s last words she had done right by her Mother.
It wasn’t just her parents that lived with Mickey and her family. Her sister Betty stayed with them after her divorce from Bob until she could reestablish herself. And her sister Kassie and her husband Krilly stayed with them while they built their home.
For Mickey and Forrest, it was always the more the merrier. Forrest was the Master of Ceremonies and Mickey the gracious host.
Family was the most important thing to Mickey, and having the family together, whether it be just her immediate family or the extended family, brought her pure happiness.
Along with these gatherings came massive amounts of food, all of which Mickey was thrilled to prepare. She was in her element in the kitchen. She loved to cook and bake, and boy was she good at it. Every dish was made from scratch, and everything was fantastic.
Mickey had her specialties, and to this day no one has ever matched them.
In the baking department it was treats like her lemon sponge/meringue pie, shoo fly pie (her pie crust was phenomenal), chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting, snowball cookies, snicker doodles, and sand tarts.
AND, can’t forget her spectacular baked beans (from scratch) with lots of bacon, homemade Mac and Cheese, fried chicken, spaghetti sauce and juicy roast beef.
As a matter of fact, her daughter Kathy is in the process of putting together a cookbook for the family, so all her recipes can be passed down from generation to generation. Her biggest problem though is translating “a pinch of this,” or “some of that to taste.”
Some of Mickey’s secrets were inherited from her Mother Sallie, but a few of them she learned while working at the Bahney House, a local restaurant. Although she was a waitress, the chef and Mickey became good friends and she often helped him in the kitchen. This just helped to fuel her love of cooking.
Come the holidays, Mickey made a feast fit for King, with quantities large enough to feed an army. For example, her Thanksgiving meal would include: turkey and gravy, candied sweet potatoes, PA Dutch style potato filling, dried & yellow corn, broccoli with brown butter, pepper cabbage, cranberry sauce, warm rolls, fruit salad, and for dessert either pumpkin, mincemeat or apple pie.
AND, don’t think you’d get away from the table without having seconds. Mickey would be sure to stop you and say “You haven’t had a nauthin.” Even though you were stuffed and could barely move.
When she and Forrest won a kitchen makeover, she was beyond excited. This was sometime in the 60’s when Jimmy was in high school and Mike, the youngest child, was just a baby, so the timing was perfect. It allowed them to open up the kitchen from two rooms to one large room, which was ideal for all the family gatherings.
Mickey loved to entertain and have a good time. When she and Forrest were dating they often had Betty and Bob over for high balls. And early on she established New Years Eve as her holiday to have her sisters and their husbands over to celebrate and ring in the New Year.
She and Forrest also socialized outside their home as often as they could, even winning a jitterbug contest at some point.
They were also both very active with the American Legion and VFW, helping Kassie and her husband Krilly run bingo and other events. Even letting Kathy and one her friends help recall the numbers.
Before Helen lost her husband Bill, Mickey and Forest would often visit them in the Lehigh Valley and the four of them would go to the Steel Club, where Bill was a member.
Mickey and Helen’s families were always close; often visiting each other’s homes for holidays and summer picnics, but this loss brought them even closer.
Even before Bill’s passing, Mickey would often have Helen’s children visit and stay for a weekend or even a week by themselves. This gave Helen a little time to regroup, and the kids a change of scenery. With 6 children, this was very helpful for both Helen and her kids.
When Helen’s two oldest girls, Carolann and Georgene, were in their early teens, they recall fondly visits with Mickey when they would attend dances at the local park. This was when Mickey’s oldest daughter Kathy was only 2, so it was a real treat for Mickey to watch the girls primp before the dance, and she could hardly wait to hear stories when they got home.
Helen’s two youngest, Mariann and Bill, both cherish their memories of their summer visits to Mickey’s. Being close in age to Mickey’s two youngest, Judy and Mike, they had a buddy for the week, which they loved.
The week would start off with a visit to Hershey Park, followed by a week of swimming at the local pool and attending evening events at the community park. And you can’t forget those amazing half dollar pancakes for breakfast!
Mickey treated Helen’s children like her own, and she was like a second Mom for them. And this didn’t change as the children got older and had children themselves. When Mickey would visit, she always came with a “sister gift” and a little treat for Helen’s grandkids too.
As a matter of fact, Mickey was like this with all her nieces and nephews. Whenever they visited, no matter what age, she made them feel right at home and welcomed them with a huge hug and a special treat.
Mickey was a “small town girl” who liked to keep things simple, and wasn’t big on change. Which is why she could even be stubborn (a PA German thing) about some things. Like not wanting to fly, or driving the new-fangled automatic cars. Believe it or not she preferred driving a three speed on the column with manual steering and brakes.
Some may consider this a negative trait, but not for Mickey, it was actually part of her charm. There was no false pretense with her. Mickey’s heart was pure and everything she said and did was a reflection of this.
She believed strongly that everyone should be treated equally and the only thing that would get her dander up was seeing someone being bullied or treated unfairly. This all goes back to how she and her family were treated at times because they were poor.
Mickey often recalled how people would pass them by on their way to church and never even considered to offer them a ride. This type of thing stuck with Mickey and she vowed to not be like that.
AND, she most certainly stuck by that creed. Mickey was one of the kindest women on the face of the earth.
When a neighbor had surgery, she cooked and cleaned for them until they were back on their feet. At Christmas, she would always invite the milk delivery man in for cookies and coffee and he loved her cookies so much he asked her to bake a cake for he and his wife’s wedding anniversary. Of course Mickey obliged, asking nothing in return.
One of the most touching stories though is when Mickey’s sister Helen’s husband died in October of 1964. Mickey just couldn’t bear to see Helen have to face the holidays alone and went out of her way to prepare the most amazing Thanksgiving meal for Helen and her children.
For many years after that, Mickey continued to host Helen and her children for Thanksgiving. A tradition both families embraced whole-heartedly.
To say Mickey was a happy homemaker, OR, better yet, a “Domestic Goddess” is an understatement. She actually enjoyed doing housework, even ironing, and took great pride in the cleanliness of her home.
Mickey was up early every day, tending to her housework, and seeing that everyone had a hot breakfast, no matter what time they got up. Getting a healthy start to the day was a priority to her.
Some how, some way, Mickey got it all done, and she still took a break to watch her Soap Opera during the week. This was her one guilty pleasure, and she most certainly earned it.
OR, if a neighbor stopped by, she always had a pot of coffee on and would pause to chat and get caught up.
There is one story of a time when Mickey got walking pneumonia, and was so exhausted she actually had to spend time just laying around. Her Mother Sallie, who was living with her, actually asked her why she was laying around so much.
It’s pretty evident that was not the norm and where Mickey got her intense work ethic came from. The apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree.
How she accomplished what she did when there were times she had an endless stream of children under foot, her own, friends of her children, or nieces or nephews, is a miracle.
BUT she did and with a bright big dazzling smile too.
Mickey always seemed to just roll with things, and never seemed to be flustered by things, but that’s not to say she didn’t worry about her loved ones. As a matter of fact, Jimmy, her oldest son, said her middle name was more like “Anxiety,” not Alice. Especially when he joined the Air Force and became a fighter pilot.
Worrying though is just part of being a Mom, as well as being a protector, which was a hat Mickey wore regularly with her children. Protecting them from the wrath of Forrest if they misbehaved.
Not to say Forrest was mean, he was tough, and didn’t believe anyone should get a free ride. If the kids had problems with homework he would review their work, and point out where the problem is, but they had to fix it. He wasn’t going to just step in and fix it.
And forget asking him how to spell a word or what it meant, he’d point you in the direction of the dictionary and leave it at that. This coming from a man who did cross word puzzles in pen.
Being parents was one of Mickey and Forrest’s greatest joys, only matched by becoming grandparents. Being grandparents opened the door for a whole new level of loving, and they cherished every minute they had with their grandchildren.
Their oldest son Jim had married his sweetheart Jo Ann in September of 1978, and their first child Jamie was born in September of 1982, with their second, Jenna, following in November of 1986.
Being the only grandchildren until 1997 when Mike’s son Kellan was born and his daughter Alex in 2000, gave Jamie and Jenna quite a few years to have Grandma Mickey all to themselves. One of the best parts of this time was when Mickey would come to Virginia to babysit the girls while Jim and JoAnn went on their “every five year” anniversary jaunts.
AND, just like when her children were young, would end up with a houseful of Jamie’s friends. The best part was when the friends would show up after school before Jamie even got home, and would make themselves right at home. Not sure what Mickey was thinking when a stream of teenage girls came knocking, would say “hi” and stroll right in.
Although Mickey didn’t get to spend as much time with Mike’s children Kellan and Alex because Mike and his wife Valerie had settled in the Pacific Northwest, that just made their time together even more extra-special.
Mickey was also blessed with one great-grandchild. Her granddaughter Jenna and her husband Brian had a little girl named Merritt in December of 2017. For Mickey, who was 89 by the time Merritt was born, being able to hold her precious little great-granddaughter brought her a level of joy equal to that of holding her own children as infants.
And although Mickey passed before Merritt turned 3, Jenna has made sure to carry on her memory by telling Merritt stories, and most of all showing her videos. As a matter of fact, when they watch Jenna and Brian’s wedding video, Merritt always comments “That’s Grandma Bortz” when she sees Mickey.
So even though Merritt will only have others memories of Mickey, with time they will become hers too, and she like every one who knew Mickey will feel immense love when one of those memories dances through her mind.
Jim and his family lived in Germany for many years while both he and his wife were in the Air Force, but once home and settled in Virginia and later North Carolina, they would host the entire family for Christmas, which quickly became the highlight of the year for the family.
For Mickey and Forrest, who came from extremely humble backgrounds, and grew up with very little, it was overwhelming to see the level of generosity bestowed upon them by their children. Not to say they weren’t beyond grateful for every gift they received, it was just more than they had ever experienced.
There’s even a story of how Mickey burst into tears upon opening a gift of a chef-caliber stainless steel colander noting “it was the nicest colander she ever had.”
Mickey and Forrest had a very unique dynamic in their relationship. Forrest was very outgoing, had a quick wit, and never stepped away from the limelight. While Mickey would just quietly stand by his side, smiling and often shaking her head and rolling her eyes.
Forrest often came off as being flirtatious, but Mickey knew he was harmless and only had eyes for her, and it showed in their boundless love for each other. As a matter of fact, his flirty personality was just part of his charm.
As were some his comments like “Baldness does not detract from my physical charm, it merely exhibits the classic sculptor of my brow.”
Mickey and Forrest were married for 48 years before his passing in November of 1999, and every one of those years was wonderful regardless of any hardship because they had each other.
In early 1999, Mickey and Forrest had sold their family home and moved to a retirement community in Lebanon. It was a difficult decision, but once they settled in they were extremely happy they did.
The townhouse had everything they needed, but the best part was a screened in porch that overlooked a baseball field. They could relax with a beer and watch the local teams play, and on the 4th of July had a front row seat for the fireworks.
Unfortunately Forrest became ill and passed in November, less than a year in their new home.
After Forrest passed, Mickey was by herself for the first time in her life. Concerned about how she would handle this, Jim, Kathy and Judy activated a plan to rotate weekend visits so they could be there for her.
Sometimes just to visit, other times to run errands with her. OR just go out to eat or take a drive. Mike being on the West coast couldn’t physically be there, but he would always call to check in on her.
Much to their surprise Mickey adapted to her new independence quite well.
She had her regular housework schedule to keep her busy, AND as a long-time Penn State football fan (all her children were Penn State grads) during football season she had her weekly games to watch.
Along with those games came a ritual Mickey had developed over the years. Prior to each game she would carefully place her Joe Paterno bobblehead, a Beaver Stadium ashtray and Nittany Lion that played the fight song on the coffee table where they would stay through the entirety of the game.
But, what was better than the ritual was Mickey’s response to the game. If a Penn State player was tackled her comment would be “Look how ugly they are to those poor Penn State boys.” YET, when it was Penn State who was on the defense, she would yell, “Rip his head off.”
AND, if Penn State lost, it was because the other team cheated or there were dirty referees.
Mickey lived by herself till she was in her early 80’s, deciding at that point it would be best to move in with one of her children.
All the children were happy that Mickey had decided it was time to transition into living with family. They were all open to having her join them, but many of Mickey’s doctors were near Kathy, so she felt it would be best to move in with Kathy and her husband Mark.
Kathy and Mark were excited to have Mickey join them, but wanted to make sure everything was just right for her, and decided to make some renovations to their home so they could create a space for Mickey that felt like it was hers.
Mickey’s actual move though would be postponed due to emergency surgery for a bowel blockage and the subsequent recovery time needed to heal.
By the time Mickey was 84 she had her house on the market and by the following year, at the age of 85 she was finally able to move in with Kathy and Mark.
There were some adjustments once Mickey became part of the household, but with time Mickey and Kathy became the best of buddies, much like Mickey and her mother Sallie.
Over the years though, Mickey began to show signs of Alzheimer’s. Kathy did everything she could to keep Mickey safe and well cared for, but it became more and more evident that moving her into an assisted living home was the best thing to do.
This decision was devastating for the children, but they wanted to keep Mickey safe and had no other options. In February of 2019, one month shy of her 91st birthday, Mickey moved into Saucon Manor. The home was extremely close to Kathy, which enabled her to visit Mickey almost every day.
Although this was another huge adjustment for everyone, the family settled into acceptance and a new routine.
BUT, when the COVID Pandemic hit in March of 2020 their new routines were shut off. No one could visit Mickey at the home, which was even more painful than having her in the home.
The family’s pain was amplified in July of 2020, when Mickey’s body could no longer fight off the complications brought on by Alzheimer’s and some underlying heart conditions and she passed peacefully in her sleep
Not being able to be with their Mother when she passed was the most painful thing any of the children and grandchildren had ever endured.
Mickey was the poster child for unconditional love, and it showed in everything she said, and did. AND, was reflected in the sparkle of her eyes and the kindest, sweetest smile beaming from ear to ear regardless of the circumstances.
Even the ravages of Alzheimer’s couldn’t remove the glimmer of love, and kindness that was in Mickey’s heart. Her memories may have been fading, but that love was stronger than any disease because it was the purest of any love.
“Intense love does not measure, it just gives.” – Mother Teresa
This completes the individual posts dedicated to each amazing Dechert Sister, but there will be one more post next month recapping what a special group of women these Dechert Sisters were. So check back for that wrap up post.
Kathryn, better known as “Kassie”, was the oldest of Sallie and David Dechert’s five girls. Her sister Mabel was born 18 months later, and it was just the two of them for 8 years until Helen was born in 1920.
Because of this Kassie and Mabel developed a very tight relationship. One that would last their entire lives, even writing letters to each other when they were not living close enough to see each other on a regular basis.
Kassie even stayed with Mabel and her family periodically while going through radiation treatment for cancer in her 50’s. The treatment Kassie needed wasn’t available in the Myerstown area, but was in Philadelphia, and Mabel just happened to be living in Sharon Hill, a suburb of Philadelphia.
Sometimes it was just a short visit, but it was enough for Mabel to keep tabs on the health of her big sister.
At an early age both Kassie and Mabel would help their mother Sallie deliver her homemade shoofly pies and noodles. Loading up the goodies in a wagon and delivering to all the regular customers. This sort of became a right of passage for all the girls, but Kassie and Mabel were the first to assist in Sallie’s cottage business. Teaching the younger sisters the ropes as each one grew old enough to help.
Kassie was also an accomplished vocalist and pianist, often performing for concerts at school. She did not perform publically beyond that though, likely because family obligations took precedence.
After Helen was born in 1920, there was a gap of 6 years until Betty was born in 1926, and Mickey 2 years later in 1928. Kassie and Mable were teenagers by the time the youngest two sisters were born, which gave Sallie the extra helping hands she needed.
Considering Sallie was 42 when Betty was born and 44 at the time of Mickey’s birth, and still had her pie and noodle business it’s very understandable that Sallie needed some help.
Because of this, Sallie and David decided to have Kassie and Mabel drop out of high school.
This decision was not done in haste or taken lightly though. It was however encouraged by Ralph, the Dechert Sisters half-brother, who by this time was in his late 20’s and well established in the business world. As a matter of fact, David, his father, truly admired how far he had come, and respected his opinion.
Because of the age gap, Ralph did not play a huge part in any of the girl’s lives, until they were older, and able to work away from home. He saw an opportunity he couldn’t pass up.
He ran a farmers market in the Philadelphia area where he would sell goods from the Amish, and often needed extra help.
Who better than ask his siblings to help?
He got the help he needed, and they made some money too. Plus, got to experience what the city had to offer.
Ralph knew he would need Sallie and David’s permission though and had the perfect angle. By telling Sallie and David that “Girls don’t need an education.” it helped ease the guilt they may have felt when pulling Kassie and Mabel out of school, and opened the door for him to get the extra help he needed.
Although Kassie was happy to make money, and get exposure to life in the city, not graduating from high school left a huge impact on her. She became very conscientious of English and grammar. Teaching herself all she needed to know to be well-spoken. She certainly didn’t want to sound uneducated when speaking with people in Philadelphia.
And, she took her grammar very seriously often correcting those who spoke incorrectly.
Whether it was her exposure to city life, or just in her blood from birth, Kassie became the trendsetter, wearing stockings with seams, and being the first to wear pants, which was a big deal for the time period. She had a real sense of style, and wasn’t afraid to show it off making sure to find ways to include her favorite colors orchid and lavender.
She was also the trailblazer for the rest of the sisters. Daring to cut her hair short, which triggered a major argument with her Mother and Grandmother.
Having Mabel follow in her footsteps, just added to the problem. Rumor has it the argument between Kassie and her Grandmother actually got physical with the two of them rolling around on the floor swinging at each other.
Now that would have been a site to see.
Kassie’s feistiness was even more obvious when it came to politics. She was a staunch Democrat and was in awe of FDR. She loved what he did for the people and felt he was the best president.
She was often called a bar room politician, getting in arguments with people who didn’t quite see things the way she did.
Women had just gotten the right to vote in 1920, when Kassie was 9, so it’s obvious as a young woman she was quite conscious of the importance of this right and did not take in lightly.
Being extremely patriotic, Kassie even became President of the American Legion Auxiliary, which is the word’s largest women’s patriotic service organization. Embodying the spirit of America that has prevailed through war and peace, standing solidly behind America and it’s ideals.
Kassie had even more inspiration beyond her patriotism though in the fact that her husband, Miles Krill, better known as Krilly, was serving in the Air Force from 1943 to 1945 during the war. Not only was she serving her country, she was also aiding her husband in his efforts.
When Kassie and Krilly met it was love at first sight for both of them. There was a catch though. They met at a picnic, and both had come with a date. Krilly very much wanted to leave with Kassie, but she refused, stating she wanted to do the right thing by the date she came with.
After that though, the two were inseparable. Marring on June 27th, 1931, just a couple months shy of Kassie’s 20th birthday. Krilly was 23 and working as a shirt presser, while Kassie was working in a bakery.
Krilly had a variety of jobs, to include brick layer before settling in at North American Refractories Company in Wolmelsdorf just before enlisting in the Air Force in 1943 where he remained until he retired in 1971.
While working at NARCO, Kassie and Krilly dabbled with making homemade potato chips, and selling them to local markets in the Myerstown area. It was while doing this they set their sites on one day having their own market.
That opportunity opened up when a small convenience style market called “the Shanty” went up for sale in the mid-50’s. This market was on the ground floor of a home in Myerstown with a small apartment above. It was exactly what they wanted.
Based on Krilly’s retirement date from NARCO, he obviously kept his day job while they had the market. I’m guessing that was for financial security and insurance purposes.
Their little market became the neighborhood gathering place with a couple of small tables and chairs where men would hang out, playing checkers, reading the paper and chatting. Plus, pinball games attracted the local teenage boys, which their nieces really appreciated when they came to visit.
They even had a one-armed bandit (aka slot machine) in a back room and punch cards for those that where interested in a game of chance.
The local Amish farmers would periodically come and sell their goods from their trucks in front of the store, offering everything from fruits and vegetables, to meat and cheese.
The store was very quint and rustic with a large penny candy section. This section was a hit with all their nieces and nephews when they came to visit because Kassie and Krilly allowed them to indulge in whatever treats they wanted.
AND, when it was time to head home, they could fill a small paper bag with whatever candy they wanted.
Kassie and Krilly doted on all their nieces and nephews. They had hoped to have children, but Krilly had mumps as an adult and that destroyed all hope for children of their own. Instead they spoiled their nieces and nephews.
They treated them all like their own kids, even proudly displaying their artwork on their refrigerator.
The store property also had a nice backyard ideal for cookouts, which they did often. Kassie and Krilly loved picnics, and spending time with family, so they got the best of both worlds. Add to it, Krilly was quite the master when it came to grilling.
Kassie and Krilly were both very active with the American Legion running the weekly Bingo Games along side Kassie’s sister Mickey and her husband Forrest.
The four of them got very close because Krilly and Forrest had a military background, plus the rest of Kassie’s sisters had relocated to other areas of Pennsylvania. Mabel had moved to the Philadelphia area with her family in the early 50’s, Helen relocated when she left for nursing school in 1943, and Betty had relocated to Lebanon for cosmetology school and remained in the area post graduation in the mid-50’s.
Not that the sisters didn’t see each other as often as possible, it was just that they had all ventured off to forge their own paths in the world and Kassie and Mickey remained in Myerstown.
Over the years Kassie (and Krilly) would become extra close to Mickey and Forrest’s children, especially their second daughter Kathy Rose, who Kassie helped to raise.
Mickey lost a child between Kathy and her younger sister Judi Lynn, and needed the extra support, so when Kathy was 3, Kassie started to watch her during the day, and after school.
Kassie was in her late 40’s by this time, but that never slowed her down.
The two of them became quite the buddies. Kassie would drop whatever she was doing to give Kathy her undivided attention. She even helped Kathy learn to read and taught her some cooking skills.
Kathy had a little stool next to the stove and she played Kassie’s sous Chef while she was cooking. Kassie was quite the cook, teaching Kathy some valuable tips. One her specialties was slowed cooked pork chops on the stove top, which Kathy noted shows just how patient Kassie was.
Kassie often bought books for Kathy and one her favorites was one filled with not-so-common Fairy Tales like “Rumple Stiltsken,” “The Princess and the Pea,” “The Emperor’s New Clothes” and “Thumbelina.” Kathy loved this book and Kassie never tired of reading it to her.
The bond between Kassie and Kathy never faded. As an adult Kathy would visit Kassie on a regular basis, and often cook a special meal for her. To say they were tight is understatement.
By the time Kassie and Krilly hit their 50’s, they decided it was time to expand beyond apartment living and buy a house. Krilly was an avid coin collector and often did consulting for a fee. It was this money that helped them buy their first home in a small development called “Lynncrest” just outside of Myerstown.
The house was a rancher with 2 bedrooms, 1 bath, full basement, garage, central air and a large backyard, ideal for cookouts. They were in heaven.
Their house became the new gathering spot for the large extended family.
They hosted an Easter gathering and large cookout over the Summer every year. Easter was epic with a huge egg hunt for all the nieces and nephews, and individual Easter baskets made from box lids for each one.
In the Summer the nieces and nephews would go between playing outside and in the basement, where they would often roller skate from one end to the next.
To say that many fond memories were created in that house is an understatement.
Besides being an amazing cook and housekeeper, Kassie also collected colored glass figurines, bowls and vases, and proudly displayed them in an open framed wall between the kitchen and living room. They were absolutely beautiful, and fascinated quite a few of her nieces.
How they survived all the kids coming in and out of the house is still a mystery today?
Kassie and Krilly enjoyed a good ten years in their home before Krilly’s heart condition got the best of him. Having a heart attack while at home, he passed in 1974. Because this happened in their home it was hard for Kassie to go home.
For 6 months after Krilly’s passing, Kassie lived with Mickey and her family. Working her way up to being in the house again by spending days in the house, but sleeping at Mickey and Forrest’s house.
Kassie became part of the family. Wherever Mickey and her family went so did Kassie. She didn’t drive, but Forrest, was more than happy to bring her back and forth.
As a matter of fact, Forrest would often go in the house ahead of Kassie to make sure everything was safe. Living alone had made Kassie a bit nervous, and this reassured her. AND, Forrest was more than happy to oblige.
Kassie remained in the house till her early 80’s when a fall caused a bad sprain and she never was able to fully recover. This forced her into a series of rehab and nursing homes, finally settling into an assisted living facility in Myerstown where she remained until her passing in 1998.
Funny thing though, through all of this, what she missed the most was her nightly beer. Normally alcohol isn’t really allowed, but with a little wheeling and dealing Mickey, Forrest and Kathy got permission for her to keep some in her room so she could still have her nightly beer. This made Kassie very happy.
Another thing that made her happy was music, listening to her favorite songs like “Yes Sir, That’s My Baby”, “A Cup of Coffee, a Sandwich & You”, “Stardust” and her all time favorites “You Are My Sunshine”, and “Ava Maria” would always put a smile on her face.
Kassie was a sweet and gentle woman, who’s true beauty was reflected in her eyes which were truly the window to her beautiful soul.
In her senior years Kassie was very quiet, far from the feisty woman she was in her teens and twenties, but the one thing that was consistent was her simple, no pretense demeanor, which was ever present in her greeting “Hello Dare!” There, sounding like “Dare” because of her Pennsylvania German accent. I can still her sweet voice greeting me to this day.
And she would say this with a dazzling smile and a sparkle in her eyes.
Many thanks to my family, especially my cousins Kathy Lewis and Sallie Galletti, for their contributions of stories and memories which enabled me to pull together Kassie’s story.
PLUS, I have to send out a huge thank you to my brother-in-law Terry Stoudt for scanning all the photos for all these posts. I am eternally grateful for his help.
Please check back next month when I will feature Mabel May Dechert Swanger, the second oldest of the Dechert Girls.
It’s not often I’m half way through a month and lost for a theme for my post, but this month I can say I was beyond writer’s block.
I could blame it on a couple things: getting busier and busier at work, and still working an odd schedule, family crisis regarding one of my sisters which created excess stress, or even just the fact that since the Pandemic hit daily life is very limited. A lot of the same old same old, nothing new or intriguing going on, which is the case for everyone I suppose.
And the last thing I wanted to do was write about the same old same old thing like; quarantine, social distancing, or wearing masks in public and at work.
Although a post about life wearing a mask in public could very well be in the future. You have to admit; only seeing someone’s eyes is an interesting thing, especially if the eyes are truly the windows of the soul.
I have noticed that the eyes can be very telling as to the mood of the person behind the mask. We’re so use to basing mood on other facial expressions, but now we only have the eyes to go by. And surprisingly they can reveal a lot.
This observation however will take a bit more research to see if it’s worthy of an entire post.
So as the month ticked away, with nothing sparking my writing soul, I began to think for the first time since I started blogging six years ago I just might have to concede to writer’s block.
Then, the weekend the crisis with my sister hit it’s peak, my family also experienced the unexpected passing of my dear Aunt Mickey.
Although we were concerned about the situation with my sister, we had traveled this road more than once, and were just grateful she was finally in the hospital.
The passing of my Aunt however was very upsetting, not just for my Cousins, but also for the entire extended family. My Aunt Mickey was a sweetheart of a woman, who treated her nieces and nephews as if they were her own. Her home was your home too.
Some of my greatest childhood memories are about time spent hanging at her house for a week during the Summer. Our annual trips to Hershey Park with my Mom, my Brother, my Aunt and my Cousins were epic.
My Aunt Mickey was also the last of my Mom’s living Sisters and her passing became the end of era.
An era steeped with amazing family gatherings, with five sisters who stood by each other’s side through every life experience possible; marriages, births, divorces, deaths, etc. and with their Pennsylvania German heritage, from religious beliefs to the food. Oh so much amazing food.
My mind was flooded with memories the days leading up to my Aunt’s funeral.
AND, I couldn’t help but ponder about my Mom and each one her Sisters and how they impacted my life.
To say my Mom and her Sisters were unique is an understatement.
They came from very humble roots, and through out their lives never forgot that. They were all selfless, caring and giving women, who looked at everyone as equals.
Family came first. They were always there for each other, regardless of what was going on in their personal lives.
The Sisters were a tight group of ladies who cherished each other and encouraged each other’s individuality.
Looking at today’s standard this may seem normal, but you have to remember these ladies were born in the early 1900’s. Encouraging individuality was not a common thing.
Especially growing up in a strict religious household.
They were raised Dunkard Brethren which is an offshoot of the Brethren, very similar to Protestant, but closer to Mennonite because they had to wear head coverings, and drinking, smoking and gambling were prohibited.
Now, by the time these ladies hit high school, like normal teens, they started to rebel, but not in a wild way. They wanted to wear more stylish clothes, high heals, and make up. Plus be involved in things at school, like sports and clubs.
BUT, they never forgot the roots of their faith.
The oldest two, Kassie (Katherine) and Mabel, paved the way for the younger three, Helen (my Mom), Betty (Elizabeth) and Mickey (Mildred).
In addition to the restrictions put upon them by the church, they also had a very strict Mother. She was the disciplinarian, not the Father. Which in itself speaks light years as to why these five ladies grew up to be five very uniquely different women.
The more I pondered all of this, the more I realized these amazing women needed to be honored, by documenting their story and individuality.
Not just for their uniqueness, but also for the lessons we all learned from them. My Siblings, my Cousins and all of our extended families are who we are because these five special ladies touched our lives, and forever made a mark.
Each one of them imparted upon us little bits of wisdom that have guided us through good times and bad. AND, by example, showed us that family, faith and food, are all one needs to be truly happy.
So, It brings me great joy to say for the next couple months I will be dedicating my posts to the Dechert Sisters. I have reached out to my Siblings, Cousins and extended family to aid me in this quest.
After all, part of rediscovery is looking to the past, and what better time to do so.
I haven’t quite decided if I will dedicate a month to each Sister, or mix it up. This idea is a work in progress and to a point a labor of love. A way to carry on the legacy that is “THE DECHERT SISTERS – KASSIE, MABEL, HELEN, BETTY AND MICKEY.
I hope you enjoy reading about the Dechert Sisters legacy as much as I do sharing it.
And, maybe you too will start to ponder those within your family who have also left a legacy. Because, it’s those legacies that have molded each of our families and lead us to where we are now.